Diet of Worms

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By doctor's orders, as of 10 May 1994,
I am to go onto a homeopathic diet
of no carbohydrates and no saturated fats
and no hybrids - so I suppose it is time
to put up my trailing rags, to dress sensibly
and read Jane Austen. I can see the sense of it.
This romantic starving poet diet is killing me.

I can give up the macaroni and cheese
(if I never look at another box again
I couldn't be happier), the oodles of Romulan noodles,
the Byron, the Goethe - the sorrows
of young Sarah - but no sugars?
What about the sweet Napoleons, the eclairs,
puffs of pastry Ionesco melting in my mouth?
No more sweetly-dripping baklava or Sapphic honey cloying
to end my repasts? No Ossian?
Not even a bit of Bernard da Ventadorn, when the days
are long in May? ah God, ah God, the dawn
how soon it comes!

My mouth waters for lasagna, cannenolli,
and for the sweet liebestod endness of concupiscent curds
(no ice cream, I can't have that anymore, dairy is death)
for scallops and Swinburne and shrimp
in a milky white sauce, for the divine Marquis I can never afford

oh please, at least let me keep my dogeared Story of O
tooth-rotting Turkish delight!

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