𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬

𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

I destroy myself,
just for you
-Montell Fish

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙

I've poured myself a cup of Jack. I'm staring into the golden liquor when a voice makes me jump. It's Tenny, looking down at me, brows furrowed and nose scrunched. He says something, but I don't hear him. Between the music and my thoughts, I hear nothing else. I shake my head. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I asked if you're alright," he says, and now he's frowning at my cup.

I blink rapidly, like I'm suddenly aware of the drink in my hand. I set it down, brush my hands on my pants as if that erases all evidence. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine." I cross my arms over my chest. "What are you doing here?"

He sighs, and points across the room. Bailey is in the center of a crowd, dressed in a neon green ensemble. His arms are spread wide, chatting enthusiastically to a group of sorority girls. One of them snickers into her hand, and I pray she's laughing with him and not at him.

"I didn't realize Bailey was such a party animal."

Tenny shakes his head. "I don't think he's here for the party."

I frown, and look back at Frankie, still tucked inside the arms of a human boulder. Bailey is positioned directly in her line of view, but I don't think she's even noticed him. And that makes my stomach knot. Because he's right there, clearly in love with her, bidding for her attention, and she's just completely oblivious. Reckless. With his heart.

My cup remains on the table. Still full. Not one sip has been taken from it. I consider grabbing it again. I imagine it burning on its way down. I chomp onto my cheek.

Tenny is staring, again. His hair has gotten long; it falls in front of his eyes. He's wearing all black, I'm surprised they let him in like that. "What are you doing here?" he asks. "I thought you didn't drink."

I can't tell if he's teasing me, or just simply concerned. I sigh, and lean into the wall beside him. "Well, Frankie practically threatened to have me committed if I didn't leave our room soon, so...I wasn't left with much choice."

"Yeah well, it is good to see you out again."

I feel my neck flush hot. I drop my eyes to the floor. The music is blaring, the bass vibrates against the soles of my shoes. "I should probably thank you for dropping off that food, for me," I say. "It was life-savor, literally."

He rubs his neck. "It felt like the least I could do. I did sort of cause all of it."

I turn to face him, my hands are reaching for him. "No, Tenny—it's not your fault. I should have never lied to Dalton about us. This is totally on me, yeah?"

He nods, but I can tell he doesn't believe it.

I press my spine back to the wallpaper, look back at the crowd. Sorority girls dancing, Frankie and the football team, Bailey downing the contents of a red solo cup. And then I catch eyes staring daggers into mine: Khalil. His jaw is tense, and I frown, until I understand why.

In a crowd full of people, me and Tenny are standing together.

And I can tell by Khalil's face, he doesn't think Dalton would approve.

I shrink, hug at my waist. Guilt eats at my side, and I feel an overwhelming desire to run out of the room. I mumble under my breath, "I need some air." And then I leave Tenny there, against the wall, without me.

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙

March 2016,