The Way I Loved You

1. Pride and Prejudice

Pride and Prejudice is the second novel by English author Jane Austen, published in 1813. A novel of manners, it follows the character development of Elizabeth Bennet, the protagonist of the book, who learns about the repercussions of hasty judgments and comes to appreciate the difference between superficial goodness and actual goodness. [Source: Wikipedia]

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Fun Fact about Emily Kingsley (FFAEK): When Emily was thirteen, she stayed up all night reading Pride and Prejudice. After a few hours of sleep, as soon as she woke up the next morning, she watched the movie, the Keira Knightley one.

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Chapter one: Pride and Prejudice

I never thought I'd fall in love with someone else's boyfriend.

It was a cruel twist of fate. For as long as I could remember, I have dreamed of love, ever since I was introduced to the word. It has been a dream of mine, the same way you dream of becoming an astronaut, a pilot, an engineer, a pop star, or a dancer.

So, of course, it was only natural that I would fall in love with someone who would have no way of loving me back; because he was someone else's boyfriend.

I was seventeen, a junior at Newton High.

I had grown up reading romance stories from the young age of nine, although I cannot pinpoint exactly when this passion for romance began. If I am correct, it probably wasn't even a completely romantic story—only romance as a side story—but it comforted me. The idea of admiring someone, secretly or openly pining for them, trusting that person more than anything, and finally confessing were the stepping stones for romances.

But what was good about romance as a genre, and happily ever after was the insurance that the other person always, always loved you back. They would end up happy at the end, and it would make me smile, cry, and hug myself to sleep with a satisfied heart that waited for a romance of its own.

I was so in love with the idea of love.

So far, my ideal lovers, or my crushes have always been one-dimensional or two-dimensional; considering they were fictional characters written in black and white, animated, pop stars, or movie stars. Even if they were celebrities and real people, at the end of the day, they were inside a screen.

I couldn't remember who my first love or crush was, but I distinctly remember crushing on Jack Frost when I was six. I liked one of the One Direction boys too, the Irish one, Niall Horan. I definitely had crushes on all the Spidermans so far; Tobey Maguire, Andrew Garfield and Tom Holland. If they were Peter Parker, they were my crushes.

Then there was Tadashi, whom I would never forget for the rest of my life. Talking about Disney characters, I must list my favorite thief, stealing hearts and running off and never saying sorry, Flynn Rider, aka Eugene Fitzherbert. I also had a crush on Nick the Fox from Zootopia. It wasn't my fault, he was so cool.

Then I started reading books, and if I began listing the boys I had crushed on, that list would never end. But we should mention Mr. Darcy, since he was one of the firsts. And end it with Jacks, The Prince of Hearts, one of the recent.

Even though my romantic endeavors in the fictional dream world had no end and no pattern, I was helpless when it came to liking actual, real three-dimensional, non-fictional, living, breathing boys around me. I had never liked any single one of them until I joined high school, or perhaps I should say, until I joined the debating club and set my eyes on Landon McArther.

When Landon McArther looked at me, smiled and said I was the best debater he had come across, I fell a little in love. It was when he said my name every time someone talked about who should win the debater of the club this year. Perhaps it was when he defended me in front of other seniors when I didn't go to the club and saved my back. Or it could be the connection I felt when I looked into his blue eyes and found it looking into mine, as if I were tethered to his soul. As if he were the one who could take one look at me and figure me out.