feelings

ｂｉｒｔｈｄａｙ

𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐:  𝚒𝚗  𝚖𝚢  𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜

I don't understand.
It's my birthday, so why the hell are you still in my head?
Do you think you're the main character?
Do you think you have a rightful place in my brain, even though it's my special day?
How come my phone password is your birthday and not my own?
It's not your phone. 
It's mine. 
How do I even know your birthday when we've only talked twice?

How is your birthday so important to me?
So important that I made it my phone password.
So important that I made it my locker code.
So important that it somehow became my favourite number.
You know you have me consistently crying every night.
I wish you stayed the same as you were last year.
I barely ever talked to you but I know you've changed.
Can we go back to those little moments?
When we catch each other stealing glances.
When you make fun of me for being scared of a spider.
Or of a shattered window.
When you kept mispronouncing my last name on purpose.
When you used to zone out while staring at me from the other side of the classroom.
When you always used to borrow my stationary.
Maybe they mean nothing to you - those little things.
For me, they help me sleep every night.
I go to sleep happily after remembering those moments, knowing I cried 10 minutes before that.
You're a confusing guy.
You make me happy but you make me sad at the same time.
You give me motivation but you tear me down as well.

Damn, you've got me in my feelings.

250 words