memento vivere - supernatural & criminal minds

chapter 35

Chapter 35
The Truth Is Out There

The tribulations in Jude’s life seemed to come in groups. Most recently, the trio went like this - the death and subsequent revival of Sam Winchester, the unleashing of Hell on Earth, and the sudden departure of Jason Gideon from the BAU. The last may seem the least distressing, but it presented itself while she was still processing the other two.

“Run through all that again, just so I’m up to speed.” Jude leaned against her refrigerator and tucked her phone in the crook of her neck. Sam was on the other line. The pair had been talking more frequently now that they had Dean on death watch. “The Seven Deadly Sins popped out of the crypt and you…killed them? You killed a bunch of demons?”

“We didn’t, technically. This woman showed up and stabbed them. She had a knife with carvings all over it, and I dunno how, but it killed them. They lit up yellow from the inside and sparked like they’d gotten electrocuted, then they just collapsed.”

“And we have no clue who she is or why she helped you?”

“Nothing. She just disappeared afterward.”

“Wonderful,” Jude sighed. She took her kettle from the stove and filled it with water. While she waited for it to boil, she asked “And where are you now?”

“We’re working a case in Cicero, Indiana. We sort of walked into it. Dean wanted to visit an old hook-up.” Jude could hear the irritation in his tone. “Her name’s Lisa, I don’t know if he ever mentioned her. Oh, and she has a son who just turned eight. She said it was a coincidence, but guess how long ago Dean was with her.”

“Good lord,” Jude scoffed. “As if we needed more of you people.”

“So kind of you.”

“I know. Get back to work, Mulder.”

“Bye, Scully.”

Jude was fishing her favorite mug from the cabinet when someone knocked on the door. She checked the peephole and frowned. It was Spencer, who never showed up unannounced, especially late at night. He was clutching a stack of paper in his hands and looking flustered. Jude barely had time to open the door before he blurted, “Gideon’s gone.” 

As if to punctuate her shock, Jude’s kettle screamed from the kitchen. She ushered Spencer to the couch and went to pour tea for them both. When she returned, he was sitting rigidly among her throw pillows with the papers on his lap. “I’m gonna ask the most worrying question first. What do you mean by ‘Gideon’s gone?’ Where did he go?”

“I mean he’s gone from the BAU. And I don’t know where he’s going, he didn’t say.”

“You spoke to him?”

Spencer shook his head. “I went to his cabin to check on him, since no one’s heard from him in a few days.” He pulled a sealed envelope from the stack of papers and handed it to her. Her name was scrawled on the front. “These were next to his badge and gun. He’d just…had enough, I guess. Frank was the last straw for him. He couldn’t do this anymore.”

“I can’t say I blame him.” Jude ran her fingers across Gideon’s chicken-scratch handwriting. “He’s been doing this for thirty years. No one else has made it that long. But to cut contact like this seems like a lot.”

“That’s what Elle did.” The name pulled a sigh from Jude. She hadn’t heard from the woman since she left and respected her desire to stay away. “The strange part is that these were the only two letters. No one else on the team got one.”

A sad smile tugged Jude’s lips. “How many times have you read yours?”

“Twenty-three,” Spencer said. “I wanted to open yours, too, but it felt wrong. Mine wasn’t sealed. I think whatever he wrote was just for you.”

“Right,” Jude whispered. “I’m gonna…” She inclined her head to the kitchen and Spencer nodded. She wanted to read the letter alone. Jude leaned against her counter and, as delicately as if it were a piece of evidence, opened the envelope.

Jude,

I’ll start this by saying that I know the real meaning behind your tattoo. 

You can’t be in this job for as long as I have without encountering the unexplainable. The FBI’s had plenty of cases go unsolved because they pertain to the job you used to do, so many that we might as well open a real X-Files unit. From what little I know about hunters - I believe that’s what you’re called - I’ve gathered that it’s a hard life to run away from. That you managed it for so long is something of a miracle. Keep running. The team will need you, especially now that you’re short-handed. I apologize for that. 

Don’t let Hotch overwork himself. I know that’s like asking a bird not to fly, but do your best. And look after Reid for me. He’ll need you even more now. I’ve taught you enough chess to make you a decent opponent, don’t let it go to waste.

Your friend,
Jason Gideon

Jude had to read the letter three more times before she believed it. For years, she had prided herself on her ability to keep her past sequestered away like the safe in her closet. It stung a bit that she had failed. Then again, Gideon did always have an air about him that he knew something they didn’t. He was the most perceptive one on their team, which was what made him such a good profiler.

But he had not been able to deduce one thing. She wasn’t running. She had stopped dead in the middle of the road and let her past run over her, leaving her with more scars to hide. Later, when their tea had been finished and Spencer was asleep on the couch, Jude added this letter to her safe with her hunting paraphernalia. Gideon’s words, like her flask of holy water and her father’s journal, were not for the eyes of her team.