ꁞℒℴ𝓈𝓉 𝒷ℴ𝓎ꁞ⁠

II

'Life always hits differently when you have people who will never make you alone, except being with them makes me alone'

°°°°°

Reading something i've found confort in for a very long time, i might be alone but atleast i can pretend i'm not, just like when i was little i pretended to see him,

I read many things concerning my mental health and i've understood how bad it was i made it all up, i mean i wrote only about him in my diary, never focusing on the bad things rather him, an hallucination.

ever since that night, the first night i never saw him in three years i haven't been the same, i was in denial not accepting that my childhood imaginery friend isn't real, that didn't sit well with me,

Nor my mum, i did everything in my power to try and harm her not physically but with words, i could no longer shut them out because as soon as i turned fifteen, i was dragged into that dinner coming home wayy later than i always did,

We were stranded on the side of the road and both they're phones had died, but i forgot my phone and then i had a panic attack at the back seat of the car, i was scared for the first time in my life after the accident i felt scared of never seeing him again,

Yet my fears we're confirmed, i never did see him again except my death didn't cause that it was something else,

Something i never wanted to say nor admit to myself but he left me, my only family, the only person i could ever tell i love you,

i miss him a little too much, Soo much i can't take not ever seeing him again,

No matter how much i tell myself i'll never see him again,

'get used to it' is something i'm always telling myself but i feel it'll never work,

"My heart's been locked up but he's the only key that can unlock it, and i yearn for it to be opened,

i miss him, but to be honest i'm still trying to believe i was hallucinating.

°°°°

"Oh shut up ellie-rose" azerine speaks so hatefully

"You hurt me you psycho" i speak letting out a sob gripping her shoulder before she walks away,

She immediately tries flipping me over like she hasn't already done enough and i twist our position leaving her below me,

My mum immediately runs into her family room seeing her daught-  step-daughter kneeling backwards like a criminal under her aweful daughter her arms positioned to be broken

"Stop this ellie-rose" she speaks looking at me in horror, the same look she gave me during that accident like i'm a monster,

i wasn't actually going to hurt her, i just wanted to scare her yet seeing that look on my mum's face........

i did it, and the heartbreaking sound of pain coming out of her lips makes me feel even more destroyed,

I bet my mum wishes she never gave me those self defense classes, then i'd haven't done this, i'd have been at her mercy, but no

i stand up from my position angrily and March out of that sitting area pulling on my hoodie i lost during the fight and run out of their house,

it hurts me she didn't see the burns on my arms, all she could see was azrine getting hurt never once saw the pain of her blood daughter

"i wish i wasn't alone" i say to myself letting out a dry cough to cover up my sob and i smile waving at the men stationed at the large iron gates to let me through the gate as i speed off,

°°°

"Stop using my conditioner, this is the second bottle i'm buying this week" i shout hard enough for her to hear me from her door,

"shut up" she speaks in a sing song voice making me more sad than angry and i barge into her room in my robe,

"girl i barely even like it i just press it all up in my toilet after" she speaks in a carefree voice making me really not happy, and i angrily send the empty bottle flying across her room into her smirking face, i shouldn't have stooped Soo low but she needs to be payed back,

______

"You dog" she screams at me marching into my room in her bath robe, and i dodge the empty bottle of My Conditioner she skillfully throws at my head in anger,

"Anything else you'd want from my bathroom, 'sister" i speak out to the tyrant,

She always told me how ugly my beautiful red-hair is, the fact my mum never said anything about it because she felt that way, it speaks a lot to a person,

"i hate you" she speaks out angrily and i smile and wave at the sad girl dripping on my room floor, i mean to be honest i already knew that a long time ago,

and besides that colour is definitely going to remain on her hair for a long time thanks to something i'd never mention, and i sigh at the thought of  her trying to get it out, i should feel way better but instead i feel like i'm just like her, i mean i'm i ?

it's definitely more damaged than nickelodeon did to ariana,

______

Azerine walks in with a smirk on her face as she sees my crying face i tuck into my arm then i hiss pulling it away leaving the large growing scars to her view, i'm scared of never getting them off,

i cry out in pain then a quick emotion goes through her eyes leaving just as quick, why me ?

and i stifle a sob looking at her with my hurt and ready eyes ignoring the burning sensation i feel and i immediately chase after her into the family room, i'd had never had gone as far as she did, burning me with acid,

'i will never know why i'm just hated everywhere i go'

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Her step-sister's hair was originally long brown hair before the damage she had to trim and dye it because of the damage>>>

azerine isn't a good person is she ? But we'll atleast she's pretty :)