Reflections of Love

Unnoticed affection

Jayson

I have never been afraid of taking any drastic steps in my life whether it's about my career or like now tackling a mountain of work in the office, Being a developer people feel it's a cool job yeah I admit. But from the last few months it is not. Working on the same thing like every day does not give a developer a thrill.

It's not that I cannot switch from here to other companies. It's just that it's now different. Now I am hesitant to lose one beautiful sight of every morning.
I guess it's worth it.

"Bro take a chill pill, look at yourself"  Of course my friend Rihan can see my frustration look "work from home is allowed for you why you did not work at home then" He said. Oh god if he knows those beautiful___

I cleared my throat, calm down dude “I like work from here" I said casually like fucking hell i like here.

"Okay man buckle up. Huh I'm so hungry today, don't you think time is moving very slowly today" he said but I feel this everyday for one reason.

"Yeah man" I said while running my hand through hair. and I started checking my task. Rihan moved to his desk.

I have always faced challenges heads-on,  never been shy away from big decision in life. Leaving home early to support my family was just one of those decisions I made without hesitation. And during my college days, despite all the temptations and distractions, I managed to stay focused and enjoy every moment with my trustworthy friends. I made lots of friends who today also one call away from me. Just need to drop one message in our whatsApp group and the coming weekend all we get together.

People often see me a bit of playboy, and I guess I can see why. I am confident and good looking, that's two things matters when you want to popular in among colleage buddies and I have these naturally for God grace. I have had my fair shares of admirers also, my friends tease me like they really scold me for not giving those admires any of my attentions. They said why not if I m getting in platters.

Thing is that I have never been in any romantic relationship, it's not like i haven't not been attracted to anyone before. I tried catching up with one girl before, mom introduced her to me as a part of her favorite hobby match making. She was a good girl, beautiful, kind of everything which my mom wanted in her daughter in low. We exchange few texts, few meet up but I was not sure for my feelings. And in that case I did not want to lead her on. So I told her and she understood but my mom did not. I was get scolded for two weeks non-stop. By the way mom did not stop she was still searching for me and I always had to make some excuses.

Three months back I made choice to switch from this company and I had two offer from big tech product companies. I was so excited to handle new challange of my life. I was about to join in a few days when I got an offer until she split tea on me and everythings changes. My shirt spoiled but I think she spoiled me. You know what she did not even say sorry because she did not even notice that day like everyday. she did not notice me in the elevator, yeah I wait for her everyday in my car in the parking lot right beside her friend's car to go in the elevator at the same time. She not even notice when I sit straight across her at lunch time looking at her like a stalker.

God what happens to me, It should have only stained my shirt, it felt like my sanity was also lost. The tea stain on my white shirt hasn't disappeared since that day, much like my eyes haven't strayed from her. In another way, she stained me too.

And still I have those two companies offers and they give me another 3months of time to think about it. I know skills matters the most, that's why they are waiting for me. Nobody does in my industry.

For the last 3 months I have not had any single eye contact with her not even once. Sometimes I think I am torching myself but I don't have guts to approach her first. If my friend heard this they will say I am lying because I was so confident enough for every fucking thing in my life until her.