In His Taste | MxM

☠︎︎🩺 thirty one

☠︎︎Aleksandr
***

"H-Here." I let Damon go, setting him down in his room. "I will be right back-."

"To where?" He interrupts, grabbing my hand as I look at it. "I can tell...that you're upset. You're mad, and frustrated-."

I pushed him back until he fell onto his bed, looking down at him with hurried breathing. I was in such a panic as my lips trembled.

"Aleksandr-."

"I know how to fix this." I nod quickly, going onto his lap as he looked at me in shock. "Even though I can't read your mind, I know...that this will help. To...to make us both feel better."

I nod hurriedly, and he wasn't even reacting. He just sat there as he looked up at me sadly.

"Stop..." I blink away the tears, leaning down towards him. "Don't look at me like that."

"Talk to me-."

"No talking, I c-can't... Just fuck me, do it!" I whimper to him, gyrating my hips against his despite the look he gave me. He just looked at me sadly still, trying to cradle my face and I kept dodging his hands.

Until he eventually had my face in his hands. I continued to weep, my body shaking at the idea that...William killed him once.

He took him away from me. For centuries, I felt so empty, I felt like nobody truly loved me; but back then - someone did! Someone truly loved me not for my looks or because they wanted something, it was me...

They just wanted me to be happy.

And William took that from me!

"I'm sorry..." I whimpered pathetically. My hands shaking on his shoulders as I realized what I've just done. "I...I did it once again. I made you do something that you didn't want to do-."

"You didn't make me do anything." He murmurs, one hand moving from my face to my hair as he ran his fingers through the strands gently. "I'm not upset...with anything you've done. I feel for you...I feel sad for you and I feel...how hurt you feel inside. I'm not angry-."

"But you should be." I cry, lowering my head from his in shame. I saw that I was still on his lap and removed myself from such a place instantly.

Sitting at the very end of the bed and away from him, I saw him try to come towards me. Except I shook my head and he instantly stops moving.

"I don't know what love is, I don't know what I am supposed to do and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! When you love somebody...you don't do the things I've done to you. I thought I was better...and I only forced your hand. Someone who truly loves wouldn't do these things. It should be second nature for me to stop and to keep myself from doing these things to you; but somehow... I ended up back here again, like an idiot. I'm sorry." I breathe tearfully, looking at my hands. "I don't think I can do this Damon...I'm not ready, and I don't deserve...to have love or happiness in my life. I didn't even know you loved me back then - centuries ago, but of course I didn't. William killed you before I knew of you."

I look back up and saw Damon looking at me tearfully. His hand settled on the bed in wait to come towards me. Gripping the sheets, he shook his head.

"Don't...let him win." He fretted as he shook his head. "He wants you to do this. He wants you to lose yourself and to lose your heart-."

"I never had one."

When I interrupt him to say that, I saw his eyes narrow on me. I don't say anything as I smile, looking back down.

"I don't. My heart doesn't beat, it never has. I'm a monster, and I've accepted that fact-."

"You're not a monster, and I should've never called you that. I don't want you to sit here and push yourself away when I want...I want to understand. I'm here, beside you and with you all the way. I'm not changing my mind. I'm not mad at you for what just happened. How can I be bad-?"