Last Turn Home

Chapter 15 - The Tears I Caused

CHAPTER 15

CARLY

No, I wasn't fooling myself. I liked him a lot, and the way he made me feel just by being in the same room as me, the way he made me feel when he touched me or kissed me, there was nothing wrong about that.

"Hey, what are you doin' sittin' all by yourself? Come dance with me! Where did John run off to?" Maisy grinned when she came to meet me half an hour later, pulling me onto the dance floor.

"He went home, didn't feel too great," I shrugged, trying to plaster on a smile as I fell into the fast rhythm. She was my best friend; normally I'd tell her everything, especially when I was upset, but this was her big day and I didn't want to start any problems for her.

So I danced with my friends for the rest of the night, John never straying too far from the front of my mind. I laughed and cheered as Maisy tossed the bouquet and smiled at all of the jokes that were made when I caught it.

I was getting good at feigning happy. I'd done it all year.

It was a little after midnight when I pulled Maisy aside and asked her if it'd be okay if I took off a few hours early to check on John. She seemed to realize then that something wasn't quite right but still I didn't elaborate.

"Is he okay?" she asked me in all seriousness.

"Yeah," I reassured her.

I called a cab before making my way over to the parking lot, where I sent John a text. I needed to check on him, to talk to him. What those women said wasn't true, I realized that now. It didn't matter what the hell they thought of me or what they thought of John. They weren't the ones dating him and they weren't the ones that were going to dictate how I was going to feel.

During the cab ride home I sent him another text, and when he didn't answer that one either I tried calling him.

It went to voicemail.

"Damn it, John," I whispered.

"Is everythin' alright, Miss?" the cab driver asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just tryin' to reach my uh-somebody," I answered with a small smile, deciding to send him another text, despite the fact that it was making me feel like a clingy girlfriend. When we reached the ranch a few minutes later I handed him the fare and a small tip.

I stood in the driveway for the longest moment with my phone in my hand, staring down at all of my unanswered texts. His truck was parked where it usually was, but that didn't mean anything. He didn't drive to the reception, knowing he'd be drinking.

I really hoped he was in his loft and after a bit of convincing I decided to go see for myself, just to be sure.

JOHN

Right now I was drunk. It was late and I was really drunk, and I was all alone. It was a terrible combination.

There was a reason I didn't like my birthday. Shit always happened on my birthday - actually, by now it was probably the early hours of the morning... so technically it wasn't my birthday anymore. I was another year older and come morning I planned on not having any recollection of what I'd done as a thirty-one year-old man.

On the nightstand my phone started to vibrate again. How many times now? I lost track after the fifth text and the third call.

Silently I picked up my phone, staring at the picture of her and me on my screen. I was an idiot for thinking that I could be somebody to her. I was oblivious and ignorant. I was so sure that somehow it could all work out, that we could be something great.