Misbegotten

Seventeen

Despite everything that had changed, family dinners were still the worst part of my day. Florence's tight-lipped disapproving looks mixed my dad's jitteriness in trying to make light conversation put me on edge, and I wanted nothing more than to return to the safety of my room.

"The business deal with the Jacobsen's is going well," my dad said after a moment's silence.

"That's great honey," Florence smiled kindly at her husband.

"And Mr Jacobsen told me that Declan has been accepted into his business course, but no surprises there," my dad smiled. Just the sound of his name hurt my stomach and I felt myself pale slightly. The news that he'd been accepted meant that his photography school should be informing him on whether or not he got into that within the next few days. Part of me felt almost excited at the thought of seeing him. It had only been four days since we'd been back but I missed him like I couldn't explain. It wasn't the same pain as missing my mother, nothing could ever be close, it still hurt though. It was like a dull ache that grew more intense the more I thought about him. It was a constant reminder that he hadn't chosen me. Chelsea looked over to me and gave me a small smile in reassurance. I smiled slightly back before trying to return to eating my food.

"Oh, and kids, I spoke to grandma today and we need to go and see her this weekend," Florence filled the next silence that was beginning to set in.

"Yay, Grandma!" Cleo cheered with a mouth full of mashed potatoes.

"Really? This weekend?" Chelsea groaned.

"Yes, this weekend," Florence, said firmly. "Why did you have plans?"

"No," Chelsea lied. In fact we did have plans. I had gotten a few replies about apartments near by to rent and Chelsea and I were going to go and look at them.

"It's fine," I said under my breath so only she could hear me.

"Still go," Chelsea encouraged me, and I nodded so she knew I wouldn't put the apartment hunt on hold. I don't think there was anyone more aware of how much I needed to get out of this house than me.

"So, be ready, it's a long drive to Byron Bay, we'll leave Thursday after your dad gets home from work," Florence informed the table.

"Sofia, you'll be fine on your own for the weekend?" my dad questioned. I almost scoffed; the world had reverted back into the old habits of the rest of the family leaving me behind. If it were imaginable, Florence's mother had less of a tolerance of me than she did, so I was more than happy to be left behind in this instance.

"Of course," I said quickly, looking up to catch his eye before casting them back down to my plate. My dad and I hadn't spoken much since we'd gotten home. It was mostly my fault; I'd been avoiding him and the whole issue. I was convinced that there was nothing that he could say that would make it better. In fact he'd probably already said more than enough.

"Why can't Sofia come?" Cleo piped in.

"No, it's best if she stayed here," Florence answered her.

"Why?" Cameron piped in. He had remained his usual quiet self up until this point. I sent him a dirty look and mouthed 'no'. He raised his eyebrows innocently as if he didn't know what he had done.

"You know why," Florence said tightly.

"No, why don't you say it out loud for once," Cameron tried again. "I am so sick to death of this stupid tension between us all. Why can't we get past this?" Cameron pushed his chair back from the table abruptly and stood up, stalking out of the room. I excused myself and followed him up the stairs where I heard his bedroom door slam.