Ashes

Six: Starlight

A/N: *loud screaming*
Also the Kyros aesthetic is finally here!

It's late at night when I realize that I won't be sleeping tonight.

Callista only fell asleep a few seconds ago, tears dripping slowly onto her pillowcase with anguish clear even on her expressionless face.

Mikhail was the first one to fall asleep. How he manages to keep calm throughout all of this is beyond me.

Titus is still watching Felix. I think part of him wants to watch our friend only because it might shed some light on Thea.

Kyros hasn't spoken to me since before I got back on the bus, but left his bunk about an hour ago and went onto the roof.

I decide that maybe I'll join him.

The floor of the bus is oddly cold against the bottoms of my bare feet, but I ignore it as I patter down the bus as quietly as possible.

The desert outside is terrifyingly quiet, with a chilly southern wind blowing across my face. I suck in a sharp breath and pull my jacket closer to my body, making my way up to the roof.

The starlight dances across the darkened desert, and I can barely see my ghost's silhouette sitting on the edge.

Wordlessly, I make my way to his side and sit down, and he merely glances over at me with a look I can't read in the dark, before turning back to the distance. It only takes a few minutes for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, and before long I can see the expression on my ghost's face. He looks troubled, as if he watched one of us die.

The wind whistles a little bit as it stirs up the ground, and Kyros lets out a heavy breath before glancing over at my bandaged arm.

"How you holding up?" he questions, his voice sounding heavy and tired. His hand raises a little, and then drops back onto his lap.

"I'm breathing," is the only explanation that I can think of. It's not a lie. It's my plan for life right now.

"I didn't check on you before. I should've done more. I should have helped you..."

I wave my hand to silence him.

"It was my fault for being stupid. It's okay," I say, and he looks up as if he's contemplating whether or not he should say what's on his mind.

"It's not though," he says, and glances over at me with dread dancing across his face. The questioning look on my face urges him to continue, and he lets out a little scoff.

"I can't lose you, too," he tells me, his hand reaching out tentatively to take hold of mine. I'm always kind of afraid of these moments, whether it's because of what I feel or because emotion is so out of character for Kyros. Either way, my pulse quickens and my breath catches a little bit in my throat.

"Yes you can. You're stronger than any of us are. If anyone should make it to Canaan, it'd be you," I tell him, and the look on his eyes changes from fear to a slightly miffed expression. I squeeze his hand lightly in both of mine, and he lets out another sigh.

"I'd argue with you, but I'm pretty sure I'd lose," he says, his expression sliding to amusement a few seconds later. I let out a quiet laugh, and he pulls his hand back to his lap as it he just realized what he was doing. Minutes tick by in silence.

"Do you ever wonder what would happen if you hadn't saved me?" he asks suddenly, and I hold my breath without even realizing. I hesitate, but I know what my answer is. I just don't know if I'm ready to talk about it.

"All the time. But I don't regret it," I say, my voice emerging resolute and certain. He looks at me like he's waiting for me to continue.

"I could have let you die. Then Mom would still be here, Felix would be okay, and Thea wouldn't be dead. We would never have become the messed up people we are now," I say, and he raises an eyebrow.