All In

part 5

mas•sa•cre /noun/

an indiscriminate and brutal slaughter of people.

•••

harry didn't want to shoot others. he didn't want to attack anyone, claiming his side was right, because obviously there would be no fight if everyone was right in only one way. in someone's eyes, he was wrong, and he wasn't ready to be called "the man who killed my loved one", or whatever the germans would say.

he wasn't ready to be involved.

and harry was too young to have his name smeared with such foul words as murderer.

as he looked along the camp, all the men layered up and were having a grand old time, playing with bullets and telling jokes, getting rowdy taking of birds back home, whiskey going around. everyone's tears and truths falling into the bottle, staining the sides and making the liquor more bitter to taste.

niall was sat beside him, blackening his boots, spit shining the toe as he went, while harry sat, pondering of what he would be doing if he wasn't conscripted.

he would be studying, for he was accepted into university, and he would need to learn how to make assignments fly out of his hands, quicker than lightning. all the while, he would be very happy with that.

but he wasn't. harry was sat, in the mud, with one of his school friends, surrounded by boys trying too hard to be men, who had all most likely joined themselves.

"you need to stop thinkin', h." niall spoke, letting his boot fall to the ground, stuffing his sock layered foot into the darkness. the elastics went around his boot, and he went to blouse it before he stopped, looked around for officers, and removed both his feet from the confines. he sighed, laying back onto the cot, making a horrible rusty noise. "not'ing changing the fact ya're here."

"he's not here, ni."

"i know."

"i'm nervous he's not. what if he was sent forward? what if he has died already?"

"what if you took a damn breath and slowed down? he's probably not yet sent to come. there's more men and nurses comin' friday, so just stop fussin'. it's good he's not here; means we ain't dead. i'm sure he's fine. ya probably wouldn't want him here anyways."

he though about it. he probably wouldn't want louis at war, not at all really, but definitely not where harry could watch him die.

harry wasn't ready for louis to die.

he didn't think he would ever be ready.