Walking With The Outcast

Chapter 20 - Lucilia

"Could you ever find it in yourself to honor a liar with a date?"

I'm too stunned to move. My body is paralyzed, and my mind is racing to figure out my confusion. It sounded like Ace spoke.

With words.

That can't be, though. Ace doesn't speak. He writes, and I speak. I must be going crazy. Absolutely, certifiably insane. That's it. I'm a lunatic. A few ingredients short of a cake. A complete demoniac. I briefly wonder if Ace will visit me in the nuthouse.

But wait. Ace's lips actually moved; his jaw swung on its hinges. And noise –words– actually left with mouth. But his eyes, not his mouth or words or lips, were the evidence of his verbal declaration. They appear hesitant, vulnerable almost. This is what tells me that Ace actually spoke. And his  voice is a husky sound, a low timbre that is as smoky as his eye color. It strokes my senses into life, beckoning me closer and melting my senses. I could listen to that sound for an eternity, and that time would never be enough to soothe the ache for his voice I never knew I felt. Ace spoke, and I will never desire his silence again.

And with that epiphany came the hurt, bruising and shattering. He lied to me. Ace lied. All the pain and misery of this past year hit me now. I trusted him. I depended on him. Every time that I secretly wished that he would speak, I convinced myself that he couldn't. But he could. And he lied about it.

It's now, when the pain builds in my chest that the meaning of his words hit me, as if the pain gives me clarity. Ace is asking me on a date? After allowing me to believe for a year that he couldn't speak?

Tears spring to my eyes, and I desperately try to quench their flow, but they come anyway. They slip down my cheekbones at a furious pace. "Why?" I croak, my voice inexplicably hoarse. I jerk back from the hands caressing my cheeks. "Why would you lie?"

He stays silent, and anger allies with the damage he inflicted.

"No!" I scream. "You don't get to play the silent card. Not this time."

Ace nods and attempts to come closer, his strong arms reaching for me. I step out of reach, tears still moistening my face.

He takes a deep breath, and his Adam's apple bobs. "I'm sorry," he says softly, his eyes pleading for my forgiveness. "I'm so sorry for lying to you. I never meant for it to happen."

I scoff.

"It's true. I never meant for it to happen." Ace pauses for a moment, looking to be considering something. "The first time we met I never thought that we would grow close. I assumed it would be pointless to talk to you. I mean, what were the odds that we would become friends? So I didn't bother. But then we did grow close." He takes another pause. "And for me, that friendship grew into a desire for a different relationship with you. One more intimate."

He judges my reaction and steps closer, but I don't pull back. I gulp and speak quietly, "That doesn't explain why you lied?"

"I never told you because..." He sucks in an unstable breath. "By the time we became close, you were already used to the silent version of me. I didn't want you to see me differently, and I was worried that me speaking would lead you to be so angry, you'd hate me."

Ace trudges closer. His arms seek my waist, and finding their goal, they pull me closer. One hand clings to my waist, while the other strokes away the tears still dripping down. "Please stop crying," He whispers. "And please don't hate me. You're one of the few good things left."

I wait for a moment, considering keeping the pain, but eventually nod, and Ace leads me into his embrace. We stand there, allowing the wind to hold us together.