My Brother's Grave

Chapter Three

“Come on,” he said quietly. We walked together in silence for about six blocks before I finally worked up the nerve to speak.

“This means no ice cream, huh?” I whispered as we waited for the light to change. I was staring at the ground so I wouldn’t have to see my brother’s angry expression. He was the one of the only ones who never yelled at me or told me that I needed to change who I was.

To my complete and utter astonishment, Johnny started laughing. At first it was just a chuckle, but after a few seconds he was shaking with fits of laughter. When he started laughing, I didn’t really understand what was so funny, considering I’d just cost him his job. Little by little, though, I understood. Actually the entire situation was quite comedic, like it was straight out of a movie. Pretty soon, Johnny and I were laughing so hard, we could barely walk straight. The whole city probably thought we were on drugs. We crossed the street and sat down on the uncomfortable metal bench just outside the dry cleaners.

“Am I in trouble?” I asked once we finally settled down. Johnny glanced at me with a wary smile on his face. He stood up and pulled me to my feet. It was almost a block later when he finally answered my question.

“I’m not sure,” Johnny said throwing his arms around my shoulders. Johnny smiled down at me as we walked up the broken path, through the courtyard, toward our apartment building. “I’ve been thinking about something important lately Tommy,” he said. We were on our front porch and Johnny sat down on the step. He looked worn out and kind of depressed. I couldn’t help thinking that it was partly my fault – or even entirely my fault. That was the third job I accidentally got him fired from in the past two and a half years.

My brother looked up at me, but he was distant, like his thoughts had taken him far away. “What have you been thinking about?” I asked. John patted the space beside him and I reluctantly sat down. I had the feeling that I wasn’t going to like what he’d been thinking.

“Tommy,” he said softly, “what would you say about going to visit Jack for a while?” Johnny never called him dad. I shook my head, jumping to my feet. My mind was spinning as all kinds of assumptions tore through my thoughts.

“Johnny I promise to be good! I’ll swear off pranks forever! I’ll get straight A’s just please don’t send me away,” I begged. “I’ll even stop switching Cade’s decaf with regular!” In spite of himself, Johnny laughed.

“Sit down little girl.” That vacant look was gone from his eyes like I had awakened him from a dream. “Listen to me Tommy, okay?” I nodded, tucking a strand of wispy light brown hair behind my ear. “You’re not in any trouble. I just… I need to get my life on track, Tomboy,” he admitted. “Working three jobs a week, taking care of you, trying to be an artist, and a good boyfriend and friend…” He trained his dark green eyes on me. “Maybe some time with Jack will do you good. He’s really good at math you know.”

I was having trouble comprehending what John was saying. The thing that kept playing over and over again in my mind was that he was sending me away. We said we’d stick together no matter what. We’d pinky swore. Angry tears filled my eyes. “Besides, he’s got enough money to care for everything you need.” The giant, pregnant, storm clouds rumbled above our heads and I felt a thick drop of water land on my nose. I didn’t move to wipe it away like I normally would have.

“I’ll get a job. I can work hard,” I declared. I wanted to change his mind. I could be a good kid when I put my mind to it. Johnny ruffled my hair.

“Tommy, you don’t need to do that. Besides, you haven’t even talked to your dad and mom for over two years. They miss you kiddo.” I pushed Johnny’s hand away and glared at him.

“Last time I checked Jonathon, they’re your parents too. And if I wanted to talk to them, I would, but the last time didn’t go so well, or have you forgotten?” My tears were starting to stream down my face mingling with the fresh rain. John’s eyes softened and I knew he was remembering the exact same moment that I was.

“Tommy,” he locked his eyes with mine, “our parents are not bad people. They made bad decisions, but don’t you think we should find a way to forgive them? They’re family.” I folded my arms across my chest. I didn’t want him to be right, but Johnny was always right.

“You already made up your mind, didn’t you? Does Dad know he’s about to inherit the next great menace?” I asked sarcastically as I wiped my eyes. Johnny shook his head.

“I wanted to run it by you first. But he wrote me last week saying that he was coming to Mom’s parole hearing on Friday and wanted to see you.” I shook my head from side to side as another wave of tears streamed from my eyes.

“I don’t want to forgive them Johnny. I don’t want to go with Dad. He likes rules way too much. I’ll do anything you ask, please?” The more I thought about my parents, the more I didn’t want to stay with Jack. I wasn’t just crying anymore, I was beginning to sob. “You said we’d always stick together!” I shouted. I jumped up and snatched our red umbrella from where it stood leaning against our peeling, gray door. I slipped passed John and opened the bright red umbrella that was littered with holes. He was looking at me like he couldn’t believe what I was implying. “You said you wouldn’t throw me away. You’re a liar!” I spat. Johnny’s face fell and his expression looked like I’d just broke his heart. I turned around, with water dripping through the holes of our bright red umbrella. I started to run away and almost ran straight into Lane who was holding a bag of groceries.

“Whoa there Tommy, where’s the fire?” Lane said, trying to grab onto my arm. I ripped myself out of her grasp and didn’t look back. I wanted to hear Johnny chase me, but he never had before. He always let me come home whenever I was ready.