Everything Has Changed

Chapter Twelve: Morning Conversations

Chapter Twelve: Morning Conversations

Danny

I stare at the lunch room table the next morning, trying to distract myself from the reality of my life.

My black iPhone six sits in my hand, my instagram lit up on the screen. I texted Kyle after I left Grace's house yesterday and told him what happened and to tell Miley.

Now they're across from me being quiet.

I hate myself for not being able to hide the change in my mood, but I've been avoiding that conversation since I was ten years old.

I've been in love with her for seven years.

Seven years of trying my hardest not to look into her eyes too long when we're on FaceTime. Seven years of me trying not to punch the wall when she tells me she's upset. Seven years of me afraid to call her after she gets out of school because what if she meets somebody?

I spent way too much time shoving my emotions aside, and now they're out in the open, guess what? I still have to shove them aside.

I spent the night in the dark, my face soaked in tears.

I deleted and blocked every single female I ever found remotely attractive except for her, and after that, I scrolled through her instagram and stared at every photograph, because she's so incredible.

Some day, somebody is going to come along and he's going to sweep her off her feet, and if I have to be the cool uncle, whatever.

But I know from the bottom of my heart that I'm never moving on.

"You look tired." Miley finally speaks.

"I didn't go to bed." I say dully.

I hate the way I sound. My voice is low and it physically hurts to talk at a normal voice.

"Dude, maybe she's not worth it." Kyle says.

"Yeah, and you're going to move on eventually." Miley tries.

"Just stop." I hiss. "She's my best friend, and she most definitely is worth it, so quit telling me she's not worth it. She's worth everything. She deserves everything."

"Are you guys still friends?" Miley asks.

"Yes." I mutter.

"Are you sure you can be just friends with her?" Kyle asks.

"I've been just friends with her for seven years." I say. "And I'd rather have her around as my best friend than not at all. When she gets here, just act normal, alright? Please just act normal."

They both kind of shrug.

I got to school a half hour early and there's still another fifteen minutes before the bell rings so we can enter the halls.

I'm starving but I didn't want to eat this morning.

My parents have been suspicious of my feelings for Gracelyn for years, and so has Scott. I know that's why he bought me condoms when she was staying in my room.

Grace was disgusted at the thought of doing anything even remotely physical with me, and I just don't get it.

What's wrong with me? Why isn't she interested?

I open my mouth to ask Kyle and Miley what they think is wrong with me, but a black jansport backpack is dropped onto the table with a loud thud.

I can smell the scent of her house on her clothing before I even turn my head.