Chapter 42

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Taylor’s POV

Fluttering my eyes open, I yawned deep. My entire back was sore from this unbearably hard and uncomfortable bed. It was lumpy, dusty and made my back crack in a horrible sound when I stretched out. Whoever created such bad beds should get shot.

Turning my head, I found Tom sitting on the edge, hunched over with his face in his hands. The long pink scar on his back was a member of several smaller ones, as if at some point he had been under torture.

A shudder went through me. What he had endured through his life as a mafia boss I would fully never know. Crawling closer and getting up, I placed my arms around his shoulders, giving him a tender kiss on the edge of his neck. He let out a frustrated sigh like he had the world on his shoulders.

-You okay? I whispered. He nodded briefly before lowering his head again.

I felt horrible for him, the upcoming future wasn’t going to be easy for him or Bill. With the mafia-clans by their tail I guessed it would be hard trying to stay sane.  

-You still here? I asked as he let out a huff of breath.

-Were you wishing I wasn’t?

A wash of guilt shot through me. I leaned forward and grazed my lips against his neck affectionately, making him relax under my attentiveness.   

-Actually I kind of did, then I didn’t have to say goodbye twice, I murmured.  

The silence I got was the only response.  

We sat quiet for a while to enjoy the last moments we could. I had placed my head against his shoulder but still held tightly around his neck. I felt like I couldn’t let go just yet and Tom was silently telling me the same as he gripped my hand and gave it soft kisses.

 The air felt thick and strained in the dusty room. I couldn’t tell if I felt sad or angry anymore, it was more like it had mashed together, making me feel ill to my stomach.

Stillness surrounded us for a while, as the both of us got ready and got dressed. From time to time I glanced over at Tom, seeing him flexing his muscles as he put on and buttoned up his shirt. I caught a glimpse of his tan chest and abs showing as he covered himself up made my breath quicken the slightest bit. 

Even in a situation like this I couldn’t control my damn hormones.

Feeling the heat in my cheeks rising, I turned around to put on my jeans and my blouse along with my shoes.

Tom cleared his voice making me turn around, seeing him fully dressed and ready to go. I swallowed down the thick lump in my throat as he gave me a nod, saying it was time.

There was no need to control my emotions, they were already buried down deep in my chest at this point to keep me from completely falling apart. Tom walked past me towards the door, his broad shoulders stiff and his face unyielding and that got me a bit worked up.

I quickly snatched his hand with mine as he stopped in his tracks. I walked up next to him, wrapping my other hand around his arm as he glanced down at me. If he already was starting to shut off to make this bearable I needed to be the one to use the last minutes together. While his hazel brown eyes swept across my face, the corners of his mouth tugged and he gave my hand a light squeeze.

Walking out from the bedroom, we headed downstairs where the others already were waiting by the garage door. The tension was more than forced and we all knew how truly bitter the situation was.

Mellie locked her eyes with mine and I could see the puffiness of them. I could tell she had been crying simply minutes ago and by the look of her exhausted appearance I guess she hadn’t slept at all last night.

I let go of Tom as I walked up to Bill and threw my arms around him. Giving him a tight hug, I could sense the uneasiness in him. Bill didn’t want to do this at all.

-Be safe Bill, come home alive, I whispered.

-The same Taylor, remember that, he retorted calmly with a hint of wretchedness.

As I let him go, he gave me a subtle smile as I backed a little bit to let him get to Hirato. I watched as Mellie gave Tom a quick kiss on the cheek and a low “take care” before she let him go and backed a few steps so Hirato could get a chance to give him a strong handshake. They gave each other a significant nod before Hirato too stepped away I could get the chance.

Tom turned towards me, smiling the faintest bit but his eyes showed different emotions. Trying my best to keep my composure I quickly walked up to him and snaked my arms around his neckline as Tom buried his head into the crook of my neck while tugging me hard against his chest.

His suggestive and dark smell of spices and interior leather whisked up my nose and entirely filled my lungs, making my eyes tear up. I would miss the way the bed smelled of him in the morning, or the way his cologne left a scent of charred oak in the sheets.

Tom pressed the curve of my back harder into him in a desperate way, like this was the last time he would get the chance to do this.

I obliged by pulling him even closer to me and shutting my eyes and enjoying the last hug we would share, maybe for forever. Feeling myself tearing up I choked down a big breath and squeezed him even more.

Tom placed his hands up on my cheeks and tilted my head up and looked briefly into my eyes. He was miserable, verging on frustrated as his brown eyes bore into mine. I hated him for this, I truly did, but there was no other choice. He had made up his mind and all I could do was hope for the best, which was getting Bill and Tom back alive.

Tom leaned down and pushed his lips on mine roughly. His chapped lips stroked mine in a fast way, as if he was in pain and wanted it to be over quickly, like pulling off a Band-Aid, but who was I kidding, I was in pain too.  

Pulling him intolerantly against me, I kissed him with all the force, desire and love I had in me. This was the goodbye we never got, this was the way we always should’ve said goodbye.

-Tom don’t go, I barely whimpered out in between our heated lips.

It was my last attempt of making him stay, stay behind with me so we could do something about this situation together.

In response, he clenched and unclenched his jaws tightly like he was seriously considering the suggestion.

Just when I thought he would listen to me, he suddenly gave me a soft kiss, simply brushing his lips over mine in the most affectionate way to make me melt before he tore himself from me. Flicking my eyes open I saw his backboard getting smaller as he strode away from me.

-Bill let’s go! He growled to his brother who threw me a hasty glance of comprehension before he followed Tom out into the garage.

Letting go of him for the second time in my life made something rupture in me.

I thought I would be upset, beyond angry and sad but everything felt like a blur at the moment. Mellie suddenly attacked me, throwing her arms around me and started crying like never before.

 I knew I consoled her, let her cry against my shoulder as Hirato placed his hand in comfort at the small of my back, but all I could hear was the roaring of the engines and screeching cars as Bill and Tom vanished out on the streets.

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A/N I know you guys celebrate today so Happy 4th of July!!! :D have the best day with lots of good food and fireworks with friends and family! Ill spend the day working and then a concert later tonight ;) have a good one!! 

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