Rats in the Pipes

16: Guilt

When I got home Mik was sitting on the floor outside the cubby. He looked at me with an anxious expression on his face. "Dad Ben" he stretched his arms out and I picked him up.

"Where's Dad Per?"

Mik pointed at the cubby. "In there. That woman came again. She talked to Dad Per then he went away with her. Then he came back with a sad-cross face and went in there. He hasn't come out."

"How long has he been in there?"

He shook his head "Don't know. Long time."

"Slots. Don't worry." I put him down on the couch. "Dad Ben will sort it out." I rapped on the cubby door. "Per? Per are you all right?" No answer. I rapped again louder. Still no answer. I pulled the door open. He was crouched in the corner with his knees drawn up to his forehead and his arms wrapped around his legs. He'd obviously had a shower because he was still wet. I put my hand on his shoulder and he flinched away from my touch except there was nowhere for him to go. "What's the matter? Why are you crouched in here?" The response was so muffled as to be indistinguishable.

"Um, Per, it's just I really need to use the cubby."

This time I did hear the words "Feel free. Piss on me. Everyone else does."

"Hey this isn't like you. You're a stoic remember?"

"Fuck stoicism. Fuck you, fuck everything." I pulled the arm that was nearest me. He tried to resist but it was no contest. Wet skin and wet tiles don't give a good grip. He half twisted and his head came up. The expression on his face appalled me. I grabbed him and pulled him into my arms and cuddled him.

"What's happened? Tell me Per, please?" He didn't respond just started crying. Great gut wrenching sobs that shook his whole body. I shuffled backwards out of the cubby dragging him with me. Once we were outside I stood up and heaved him to his feet. He didn't resist. Just carried on crying. Mik was hovering anxiously and I gestured to him to give me Per's towel. I wrapped it round him and lowered him onto the couch.

"Per what's the matter? You had a severe beating and got summarily dismissed from your job and it didn't reduce you to this state. Tell me so I can help you." I kissed the top of his head. It was what my mother used to do when I was a little boy and it always comforted me. It just made him cry harder but he put his arms round me and hugged me fiercely. Mik came and stood in front of us.

"It was that woman. The one that came before."

"Sol?" he nodded. I was mystified as to what my next door neighbour could have done to reduce Per to a state of absolute horror and despair by the expression on his face. "What did she do?" Per spoke into my shoulder

"I have to have sex with her. Every day. If I don't she'll inform WCM we're living together. She recognised me. Knew I was Hedd's fuck. She says the authorities will believe her." He lifted his head and stared at me "One's past never lets go does it?" Then he flopped his head back down. "I feel so dirty. I don't want to have sex with her I want ..." He stopped abruptly and started crying again.

A raw, visceral anger kindled somewhere in the pit of my stomach and roared through me. I jumped up and let go of Per who slumped on to the couch.

"The fuck you are! She's not getting away with that." I stormed up to Sol's door and hammered on it. When she opened it I shoved my way in.

"You scummy pipe rat! How dare you. You leave Per alone. You want to fuck your way up levels that's your business. Leave me and my friend out of your slimy schemes. You're a sexual predator and a rapist."

She glared at me "What the spires are you on about? I haven't raped any one. I'm a woman or hadn't you noticed? It's men who do the raping and women who get raped."