Chapter Nineteen

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Two years ago...

I sat in the wooden decking chair, the summer's sun smiling down upon me and the calm breeze fluttering through my loose hair that hung upon my bare shoulders. I was feeling more than content. It was comforting hearing the light sound of chatter and laughter as I closed my eyes feeling warmth embrace my heart.

The smell of bacon and sausage sizzling on the hot surface of the grill, the coolness of the fizzy lemonade running down the back of my throat and the sight of my endearing husband, completed the perfection. Nick. The man who'd stolen my heart. It was so exciting knowing each time I glanced his way; his smile would return my way. Only year three years of marriage and I was confident that our love would never grow old.

And later on that summer's night, I sat nestled on his lap running my fingers through his hair as he spoke affectionally, promising me the world and the universe.

"Rose, I love you so much," he muttered, squeezing my hand in his. My heart fluttered as I felt his soft lips against mine. The promise, the vows and life we were making, seemed surreal but it was something I had.

Present

I blinked. I hadn't expected the attack of that memory. Nor did I question it. I knew who was behind it. Guilt.

It was 2:30am. The soft snores of my husband echoed around the bedroom as I sat, not confined by insomnia, but by anticipation as I sat resting against the headboard wondering when I was to make my move. It seemed silly because Nick had fallen asleep hours ago whilst I remained, here, falling into the reigns of guilt presenting me with my past memories. And I loathed them.

I sighed, briefly glancing to Nick, whose face was pressed into the pillow and his arms securely wrapped around it. The man here was the same man in those memories. But the woman, she was not. I had changed.

Climbing gently out of the bed, I stood up feeling the softness of the furry rug beneath my toes. Then I felt the beige carpet of our bedroom floor as I headed towards the bedroom door, taking something silky from off the coat hook with me. And then I was gone.

It was a little chilly outside as I wrapped the silky gown around me, crossing down from our driveway into Shane's. I knew he was expecting me, probably hours ago but I'm sure the wait wouldn't throw him off.

Knock. Knock.

And then the door opened, revealing him, bare-chested and grey jogging bottoms hanging low on his hips. I felt my lips tug as I quietly entered, feeling his eyes burning with passion working overtime all over me.

We wasted not a second. As soon as the door closed behind him, I felt his hands run down either side of my arms, his pressing member against me and the faint touch of lips on the side of my neck. I fell back into him, closing my eyes as I melted with happiness.

His hands slowly worked their way down following the contour of my hips before gradually returning to my breasts and then squeezing them. I bit my bottom lip, turning into him as I ran my hands against his pecs desiring the taste of his lips on mine. And then he complied, matching my pace as I allowed the temptation to take charge.

We were all over each other. Each of our clothing discarded upon the floor. Our naked bodies pressed against one another as he worked every inch of him into me. And the fragments of the past that had tortured me earlier, disappeared as I made love with him.

Shane's fingers ran up and down my stomach as I lay my head upon his arm. We were in his bed, I'm not sure how we made it there. It didn't seem to matter to me if we unconventionally had sex on the floor downstairs, by the fire in the living room or the bathroom tub. For all I cared, I just wanted him. And for the entirety of the night, we had barely said a word allowing passion to speak until now.

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