Sown

ten

The loft smelled faintly of mulch and tobacco, much like the farmer herself. Already much larger than his own living space, it was sparsely decorated, the only furniture being a sofa, coffee table, mostly empty bookcase, family prayer altar, and kitchen island where he currently sat. The wall to his back was made completely of glass and offered a view of the full length patio. The wall beside held two closed doors which he guessed led to the bedroom and bathroom. The wall in front of him housed the simple kitchen where Hanae cooked.

A large pot had already been sitting on the stove above a barely lit flame. Hanae had left him alone for a moment to duck downstairs and return with a bowl full of herbs. She dumped the bowl's contents into the pot after removing thick slices of marrow bone with tongs.

"This is a recipe my mom and I would make together back home," she explained with her back to him, turning away from the simmering pot to light a fire under another. "When you're chilled to the bone, nothing helps more than bone broth." The words were rushed as a violent sneeze forced its way out.

Kakashi watched as she pulled a hotplate from a cupboard and place it in front of him ; he scooched his elbows back to accompany the device and continued to watch silently as she ladled a portion of broth into a much smaller pot which was then placed on the hotplate. The ochre liquid slowly rose to a simmer, thin steam crawling upwards.

The tapping of plates on wood brought his attention back downwards. Hanae laid a long plate of thinly sliced beef, large bowl filled with different vegetables, and akutori in front of the hotplate. Then came the rice (oddly purple in color and made with at least four different types of grain) followed by two empty bowls and finally chopsticks.

"An Umu specialty : shabu-shabu style beef bone broth!" Her voice was as eager as her gaze, hair dancing just below her shoulder blades as she took a seat as the stool beside him. "I've added some different herbs for the both of us."

Kakashi pulled his arms off the of the counter. "You know you're the only one who's sick, right?"

"I added some to keep you from getting sick."

He chuckled and reached for the chopsticks on his side. "You're so good to me." From the corner of his eye he saw Hanae do the same, but instead of positioning them in her hand she held them in the crease of her thumb and pointer finger. Hands together, she closed her eyes and bowed in silent prayer. Kakashi stilled until she lifted her head again.

Catching on, Hanae smiled and offered a soft thanks to which he nodded.

Slowly reaching for his mask he saw Hanae turn away once again. He quirked a brow. "I'm not that ugly, you know."

The woman shook her head. "No, I," she searched for her words. "I promise I didn't invite you here to see your face."

The admission surprised the jounin, jaded from years of his students and others trying to reveal everything below the eyes. He had even worked out a plan to keep his facial anonymity, prepared for everything. Everything except someone actually seeking consent. Kakashi smiled inwardly, slipping a slice of meat into the herb-laden broth to cook. "Then don't mind if I do." He replaced the mask quickly incase her honesty was a ruse, but with no movement from the host he let it rest around his chin instead.

Throughout the meal Hanae kept her gaze to the side, effectively keeping him out of her peripherals. Her blush grew with each subtle compliment, explaining them all away with praise for her mother. "I'll be lucky if I can become half the woman she was."

"It sounds like you had a great family life. Why move so far away?"

Hanae admired a snow pea grasped in her chopsticks. "I wasn't happy. The Land of Iron is a amazing, but it's the same thing everywhere you look, and peace in isolation isn't as great as it sounds. People have a lot of respect for my clan because of our business, and growing up that's all I was know for. That Umu girl that brings food for the country.

"I became a samurai to be like my dad. He's always so happy and full of life so I wanted to be just like him to find the same happiness. But regardless of how much I trained or fought, I never felt the same joy ; it didn't come to me and made me think I was doing something wrong. I beat myself down for years before he finally sat me down and told me that he wasn't happy because he became a samurai. Fighting off criminals and defending the people from defectors didn't lead him to the joy I wanted. It gave him pride, yes, but that wasn't why he was happy.

"He was happy because at some point he had realized that happiness wasn't something you could find. When you try to possess joy like an object, you end up losing it along the way. He told me to stop looking for happiness like a lost object and to make it for myself, to create a life that would invite joy into my every day. And I realized that living in the Land of Iron didn't make me happy.

"I wanted to grow. I didn't want to be that Umu girl, that girl who was a little too tall, that girl who wasn't ugly or cute, that girl that everyone had made me to be. I wanted to be Hanae, and I wanted a fresh start, to grow through the snow like the hydrangeas outside the training building. Grow fresh from the withered sprouts that used to be.

"So that's what I did. I expressed myself to Lord Mifune and he suggested Konoha. He trusts this village, and I trust him with my life. I applied for a visa for permanent residency, and when I was approved I left, carrying the blessings of my family, Lord Mifune, and the country with me.

"This village has given me so much. I'm not that Umu girl anymore, I'm finally Hanae. Hanae who has the best sugarcane, Hanae who people trust with their pains and illnesses, Hanae who is a master of silver linings, Hanae who gives people the happiness she thought she'd lost and receives that same happiness back."

Tears brimmed in Hanae's eyes, webbing between thick bottom eyelashes. She covered her face with petite hands, hiding the overwhelming emotions threatening to fall with the tears. "God, I sound so ridiculous. I'm sorry."

A warm hand rested on her back. Hanae looked up at Kakashi, mask replaced, who stared back with a stern expression.

"Don't apologize. You made a hard decision to better your future and that is a lot more than others could say they've done for themselves. Your family and Mifune are proud of you, and so am I. Your emotions are valid, so never apologize for them." He left his hand against her quivering back, the farmer finally letting the flood of emotions loose in the form of a few fat tears.

There was an air of awkwardness behind the interaction, but in a way it also made Kakashi feel closer to her. The optimist had shown him a different side of herself, something deeper than he felt someone like him deserved to know. Grateful wasn't strong enough a word to describe the feeling. Adoration seemed a better fit.

Suddenly, she rose to her feet, wiping tear trails away from flushed cheeks. "That felt amazing," she breathed, collecting empty dishes and setting them in the sink. "Thank you for listening. I promise I'm not normally a crybaby, it's the allergies."

He rested his chin back in his hand, quirking a brow skeptically and sensing she felt awkward at the very forward display of raw emotion. "I don't know, those tears seemed way too natural. Unless of course you practiced all of this to have me comfort you. Were you after a hug?"

She tossed him an embarrassed grin from over her shoulder. "I mean, if you're offering."

Kakashi waived his free hand dismissively. "Sorry, too full. Maybe next time."

Her boisterous laughter was rewarded with a soft grin.