Nod my Head - A Writing Guide for Wattpad Writers

(23) The Basics of Show, Don't Tell

At some point in their writing career, all writers get the advice to show, not tell.

"Show us that she's a spoiled little girl; don't tell us!"
"Show us that he lives in a run-down apartment building; don't tell us!"
"Show us that she's angry at her father; don't tell us!"

While that's certainly good advice, many writing coaches, instructors, and editors fail to explain what it means.

So, let's start by defining showing and telling.

Telling means that you—the author—give your readers conclusions and interpretations; you tell them what to think instead of letting them think for themselves.
Showing means that you provide your readers with enough concrete, vivid details so that they can draw their own conclusions.

Telling is like giving readers a secondhand report afterward.
Showing lets readers experience the events firsthand, through the five senses of the character.

Telling is like reading about an accident in the newspaper the day after it happened.
Showing is like witnessing the accident the moment it happens, hearing the screech of the metal and the screams of the injured.

Telling summarizes events that happened in the past or gives general statements that don't happen at any specific time.
Showing lets readers witness events in real time, in actual scenes with action and dialogue. We stay in the present, firmly rooted in the POV character's experience.

Telling is abstract.
Showing creates a concrete, specific picture in the reader's mind.

Telling gives you facts.
Showing evokes emotions.

Telling is also called narrative summary.
Showing is dramatization.

Telling distances readers from the events in the story and from the characters and makes them passive recipients of information.
Showing involves readers in the story and makes them active participants.

EXAMPLES

Okay, now that I've told you what the difference is, let me show you by giving you an example:

Tina was angry.

This is telling. The author is handing readers a conclusion.

Tina slammed the door shut and stormed into the kitchen. "What the hell were you thinking?"

This is showing. It gives the readers the concrete actions and the character's dialogue so that they can come to the conclusion that Tina is angry without the author stating it flat-out.

Telling: The dog attacked. She tried to defend herself.

What exactly did the dog do? Jump? Bite? Growl? And how exactly did she defend herself? Kick the dog? Hide?

Showing: The dog leaped, canines bared. She threw up her arm to protect her throat.

Telling: The dog tucked its tail between its legs and whined anxiously.
Showing: The dog tucked its tail between its legs and whined.

The posture and whining shows the dog's anxiety, so there's no need to add the adverb.

Telling: Tina slowly walked down the street.
Showing: Tina strolled down the street.

The adverb (slowly) tells your readers how Tina walks; the strolled shows it.

Telling: When John left, Betty and Tina were relieved.
Showing: When the door closed behind John, Betty wiped her brow and Tina exhaled the breath she'd been holding.

Instead of naming emotions, use actions, thoughts, visceral reactions, and body language to show what your characters are feeling. More on that in the chapter on showing emotions.

THE ART OF SHOWING —
How to turn telling into showing

So now that you know how to spot telling, what showing is, and why you should do it, let's take a look at how to show. Here are the nine top tips on how to show:

1) Use the five senses

Showing means letting your readers experience your story world along with the point of view character. Try to engage all of your readers' senses, not just sight. In every scene, put yourself in your POV character's shoes and describe what he can see, hear, smell, taste and sense.

Example: I stuck my nose out of the car's open window and breathed in the fresh pine scent. The cold air made my cheeks burn and my eyes tear.

2) Use strong, dynamic verbs

Make your writing come to life by using strong, active verbs, not verbs that are weak and static. For example, instead of saying she walked, use she strutted, she strode, she trudged, or she tiptoed to show us exactly how she moves. Keep on the lookout for weak verbs—usually all forms of to be (including the overused there was and there were) and to have—and replace them with verbs that paint a clearer picture in the reader's mind.

Telling: The man was thin and wore a coat that was too big for him.
Showing: His coat hung around his frame.

Verbs that can also weaken your writing are started to and began to.

Weak verb: The woman started to shake.
Without the weak verb: The woman shook.
Or maybe even better: Fine tremors rushed through the woman's body.

3) Use concrete nouns

Try to be as specific as possible rather than using generic terms. That's not just true for verbs, but for nouns too. Use concrete nouns that create the image you want in readers' minds. Instead of having your characters eat breakfast, let your readers know that they're having eggs and bacon. Instead of telling readers that your protagonist has a dog, show them a drooling Great Dane.

Telling: Tina lived in a big house.
Showing: Tina's steps echoed across the foyer as she entered the mansion.

4) Write in real time

Make sure you write in scenes and let the action unfold in real time. Instead of summing up what happened, let your readers witness the moment-to-moment action. Again, a red flag that indicates that you are no longer writing in real time is the use of past perfect, e.g., she had gone.

You don't need to show everything in real time, of course; otherwise, your novel will be full of meaningless actions that will read like filler. As I will discuss in chapter 12, at times, telling can be a great tool to compress the nonessential parts. It's the important scenes—the ones that move the plot forward or reveal something about a character - that you want to show.

Telling: Tina was a flirt.
Showing: "Well, hello," Tina drawled. "The view in here just got a lot better."

5) Use internal monologue

Showing what your POV character is thinking can also help to reveal her emotions without having to name them.

Telling: I was relieved when my workday ended.
Showing: Finally, the bell rang, announcing the end of my workday. Thank the Lord.