anxiety.

thirty.

moon (instrumental)

skylar.

its been two days since i've been admitted to the hospital and let me say, its extremely boring. the pain has subsided and its more dull now, rather than throbbing constantly. however, that's left ample opportunity for me to get lost in my thoughts and that is never a good thing.

mason and scarlett visit me twice a day, once right after school and once before visiting hours are over. i know i've gained their sympathy and all they want to do is help. when they're here, i manage to completely forget about my predicament. sometimes we'll play a game together or scarlett will braid my hair and we talk about girl things or team up together against mason. i'd consider her my big sister now.

thomas and my parents come in when they can too, but usually they're too preoccupied with their own work. i try to tell myself that i'm not alone, but that's what it's starting to feel like. i know mason or thomas are always a call away, but i hate feeling overly dependent on them. i should be able to overcome my problems myself. i'm almost fifteen, i'm practically a grown up.

i've gained a reputation around the hospital for being 'the wanderer'. that's because i'm never in my bed when a doctor comes to check on me for rounds. i have trouble sitting in that uncomfortable bed, forcing myself to not think about how awful my life has become. i'm always hanging around the nurses station and if i really think nobody is paying attention to me, i try to sneak around all the way to thomas's office. it's much harder to get into the psych unit without being caught than down the hallway to the nurses. the good part about my dad being the chief of pediatrics is that everyone does anything i say in fear that i'll report them to him.

but it is currently 5:53 pm, one of those weird times in between mason and scarlett's visits where i find myself wallowing in my sadness. the sun was about to set as the natural light illuminating my room got dimmer and dimmer. two soft knocks at the door caused my head to turn in the direction to see who it was. i prayed it wasn't more nurses coming to prick me with needles. a smile formed at my lips as i saw it was thomas and not about to be another crying session... at least i hoped not.

"hi cutie." he spoke, causing me to blush and turn my face into the white pillow. "how are you feeling?"

i shrugged, "i've been worse."

"that's actually a perfect answer." he grinned. my face peeked out from the pillow to see him extending his hand out for me to grab. i placed my hand in his with no hesitation and let him pull me out of bed. i was not missing an opportunity to get out of this white-walled room.

"what are you doing?" i asked as we sneaked out of my room. "you know my dad is probably going to kill you for taking me out of bed rest!"

"i think you forget that i'm his colleague too now and he has no power over me." thomas justified.

we stood in front of the lift, him rapidly pressing the up button like it was going to make it come to the floor any faster. with a loud ding the doors opened, revealing a group of doctors, amongst them my father. his eyes grew wide when he saw me standing outside the lift doors, out of bed.

"dr. kersey." he bluntly greeted with his eyebrows raised high enough to touch his hairline. both confusion and sternness were prominent in his voice.

"chief block." he replied, smiling widely. even i couldn't help but hide the smile on my face at the situation thomas just winded himself up in. he was going to be in so much trouble. my eyes met thomas's at the same time he looked down at me, sending a discrete wink my way. i watched my father look back and forth between thomas and me a few times before exhaling loudly, exiting the lift and carrying on down the hallway.