Trapped (A Ticci Toby Story)

prologue- Burden

The night wind blows the taste of the sea onto my tongue.
The bitter taste of salt and rust made the energy in the air stronger.
Tonight blood will fall.
My eyes scanned over the dark factory floor. Slow red pulses of light above the conveyor belts were the only chance I had of finding Masky and Hoodie.
Where are they?
They have been gone for too long.
This was never something I had to worry about before. Masky and Hoodie were good at what they do. They always went in and got the job done in no time.
But tonight, there were no sounds past the crushing waves nearby and the wiping wind that carried droplets of water against my lashes.
There were no calls of warning or movement from inside.
There was no gunfire or stomping from the harden men who protected our target.
There was nothing.
And it terrified me.
For the first time in my life the realization that Masky and Hoodie weren't untouchable had just hit me. They were just as human as me, their lives were in just as much danger as mine.
How could I ever be so stupid? How could I possibly think otherwise for so long?
I crouched back down into the nook of weathered wooden crates that Masky and Hoodie had left me in.
This was enough to shelter me from the wind and the water, it was enough to keep me out of sight from anyone who could hurt me.
But I still couldn't breathe.
Masky and Hoodie were assigned to me by the slender man to train me as a proxy and to keep me safe.
I unclenched my hand and peered down at it in the darkness.
I was shaking violently.
Was I cold? Was it possible to be cold during the summer?
I was never good at knowing this kind of thing.
I was about to pull my gloves off when I heard a loud thump of metal against metal from below.
I was on my feet without really thinking it through. I didn't consider that there was a large possibility that the sound i heard wasn't from my protectors. They were to careful to drop something like that.
I already knew that before I flew down the metal stair way towards the doc, but i didn't care. The only thing I could think about was Masky and Hoodie and E. G. Lithirea.
I slowed and treaded lightly over the metal strip that led me over the water. The wind zipping past me, blowing my hood back from my head.
Through the rust kissed railing I could see our victim.
E. G. Lithirea threw black bags of inventory onto a small motor boat that was rocking violently against the doc. My breath caught when he ran back up the stairwell and disappeared into the shipping factory.
Even I could see that he was trying escape with as much supplies as he could.
He was trying to escape.
Why aren't they stopping him?
My breath came out in uneaven gasps.
I need to do something.
I reached to the goggles on my head and pulled them roughly over my eyes.
My world turned a shade darker and whatever light I could see was tented to an amber glow.
Even though it was harder to breath through the cloth that covered my mouth and seeing was a challenge, I knew why I needed to cover my face.
My victim couldn't see who I was. They couldn't see my expression-they couldn't know how a human felt to take their first life.
They'll only take advantage of that.
I can't say I remember how I ended up inside and in the space that led to the doc. I don't remember grabbing the piece of rebar, I don't remember swing it.
But I remember the sound of impact on the side of his head.
I remembered the sound of gunfire as he blindly fired a shot at me.
It was strange... I never considered how loud a gunfire was in real life.
I never considered how a single sound could stun me in just a rapid heart beat.
I remember how many times the gun fire echoed off the concrete walls of the building.
Almost as if it was never going to stop.
I remember how E. G. Lithirea moved towards me, like a switch being flipped in a dark room, I was aware of everything.
I swung my weapon again, but this time he was prepared. He grabbed it in mid swing and twisted it out of my hands. In that moment I shoved his hand upwards as he fired again. I gritted my teeth as I tried to pry his hand away from the gun. He hit me with his free hand hard enough cause my vision to fuzz.
He won't get another hit on me again.
I grabbed his hand and kicked his legs out from underneath him. His wrist snapped before he hit the ground and he cried out.
I ripped the gun from his hand and time seemed to freeze.
I stood over him with the gun in my hands while his breathing came out in enraged hisses.
I need to pull the trigger. I needed to do what we came here to do. I needed to kill him because... I just needed too.
The gun felt too heavy in my shaky hands.
He'd killed people. He shot a man after he said he forgave him. He never intended to let that man go.
He must have hurt Masky and Hoodie!
My throat was to tight to breath. I could no longer swallow back the fear of finally taking a life.
Just half an inch.
I stared down at him in horror.
I-I can't.
I couldn't.
I couldn't be the reason his eyes lose their light. I didn't want to see his blood spatter the floors.
I couldn't take his life-
I'm afraid
I sensed a movement in the doorless doorway behind me.
Masky.
A gust of wind blew through the empty window ledges causing a hollow groaning sound to fill the room.
I dropped the gun and turned to retreat to Masky. Again, I didn't think. I just knew that Masky will protect me. He was safety and I needed to get to him.
Masky always said I never think before I act.
E. G. Lithirea was on his feet before I had a chance to take a step. He had his arm clasped tightly around me and the gun pressed hard against the side of my head.
"Get back!" he said "or I sware to god I'll blow his fucking brains out!"
I winced away from the gun, but E. G's arm was holding me firmly to him.
Hoodie was here now too. He was only a darken figure behind Masky's sholder.
They were okay..
I thought in a brief relief.
E. G's arm raised pressing the gun harder against my temple, shoving my head furthered down when he spotted the final proxy.
"I fucking mean it! Stay back!"
I tensed while he jerked me back. I knew better than fight him.
Masky and Hoodie didn't move. They didn't speak. They stood there stiffly like soldiers, watching with hidden faces.
That's how it had to be. They couldn't show E. G. Lithirea that they were human enough to care. They couldn't be negotiated. His death was enviable regardless if he killed me or not.
"how many of you are there?" he continued. "how many of you? you killed my men! I knew you were watching me! They thought I was crazy! I knew!" E. G. Cocked the gun and I mentally slapped myself for not remembering to do that in the first place. "You don't think I'd take one of your men?"
I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and bared my teeth behind my mask.
They couldn't save me. I messed up, i messed up so bad.
They could never reach me in time. If they moved he would fire. They would be responsible for my death.
I'm such a screw up. Jeff was right.
I could see past their soulless facade.
They were terrified.
I could see masky trying to find a way to save me. I could see hoodie waiting on edge for masky to make the call.
This was the only thing they could do for me. They were buying me time.
E. G. Began to pull me backwards towards the door way. He was going to continue to use me as a body shield until he was close enough to the boat to kill me and dispose of me into the black rapid water.
An eye for an eye.
Was this how the world worked?
Maybe jeff knew he was talking about...
My heart did a jump in my chest and I carefully slid my fingers into my hoodie pocket. I felt my fingers slide across the thin blade of Jeff's knife.
Maybe I'll have a chance to thank him.
I reached further in and grabbed the knives handle. In one quick motion I shoved the gun as far away as I could from my head before he fired and shoved the knife somewhere into him.
The sound of the gun caused my vision to sway and my ear to ring.
"Toby, get back!" masky ordered.
I stumbled towards them blindly until hoodie caught me.
I covered my ears and buried my face into hoodies chest.
One shot from Masky's gun ended it all.
I clawed at my left ear, panicking because the shot sounded all wrong.
Distant.
Distorted.
"Toby," hoodie was shaking me a little. "are you alright? Are you hurt?"
"my ear.. " I mumbled numbly. I knew what he meant when he asked if i was hurt. He knew I couldn't feel pain. They taught me for as long as i could remember to tell them if I was ever 'hurt' It never mattered if it was a flesh wound or just a bite, I couldn't tell if i was hurt bad enough to seek help. I couldn't tell if i was poisoned from a bite or sick from a infection.
Hoodie seemed to relax slightly at my response.
"yeah, you were pretty close to that gun." I could hear his gentle smile in his soft spoken voice. "Maybe a little closer than I'd like you to be."
I turned to find masky kneeling over E. G. Lithirea's body. He held the gun that E. G. Had held to my head only moments ago.
"It's empty." masky said grimly.
I sank back at the sound of his voice.
I knew that tone well.
He was angry.
Of course he was. When is he not angry with me?
Hoodie gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze and stepped around me to meet up with his friend.
"That's probably why he didn't shoot us on sight. I think Toby used up the last of his bullets." he teased lightly.
Masky shoved the gun into one of the black bags E. G. Had dropped. He was on his feet and his attention was directly on me.
There was no humor from Masky. There was never anything like that from him.
I kept my eyes focused on what I could see of the crashing sea from the windowsill behind him.
"Toby." Masky said evenly. My eyes betrayed me and flicked up to him without giving me a chance to convene myself to not give into his authority. "do you mind telling me what you were thinking?"
It didn't matter what i said. I knew what i did was stupid and i knew he had a right to be upset, but i hated it. I hated him telling me what to do. I hated staying behind. I hated feeling useless.
I tried anyways "I thought you needed my help."
It sounded stupid even to me.
"We didn't need your help, Toby! You could've been killed!"
A gust of wind blew hard into the room. The sound of splitting wind against concrete only seemed to make my anger grow.
Like feeding air into a growing fire.
"He was going to get away!"
"Look around toby! Do you really think he would have gotten far in a boat? We knew where he was! He would have went down with his inventory! This mess wouldn't have happened if you stayed hidden like i told you!"
He was right... I didn't give myself a chance to figure that out. Even though i was embarrassed i didn't let myself dwell on it.
"I'm tired of hiding, Masky! I can't stay still long enough to just sit around and wait for you all day! I need to move-it's boring!"
That was mostly true.
"That's not my concern. You are not ready to go on these missions, you refuse to take your training seriously and im not going to risk you getting yourself killed because you're bored."
There was no way i was going to win this argument, i knew that, but the way he never seemed to care, just made me even angrier.
"Being dead is better than living a life being constantly shoved aside and ignored."
"you're being ignorant." masky rubbed his temples with frustration.
I was being ornery, stubborn, and maybe a little arrogant, but this was the only way i knew how to get his attention.
I disobeyed him, i threatened his duty to keep me safe by acting so carelessly, but that was just it.
That was exactly the reason why I'm finding it harder and harder to listen to him, to do the things he tells me to do to keep me safe and out if the way.
I was just a job to him. I was nothing more than a burden he couldn't wait to get away from at the end of the day.
The only reason I was here was because slender ordered them to take me.
I was just a tag along to them.
"yeah, I am! so what?" my words were filled with a hostility that took me by surprise "He didn't shoot me! I'm fine. I didn't ruin your perfect reputation with slendy."
Masky didn't seem to care about my new found ability of sarcasm, Not the way I hoped he would.
He turned and pulled off his mask in frustration.
In this time he was pacing, I watched hoodie pulled money from E. G's pockets and stashed it in his own.
We were going to need money for the trip back.
Masky stopped pacing and reeled toward me. More frustrated than he was before. "How can I trust you to survive a mission if you refuse to listen to me on one like this? This is nothing compared to Zalgo! Do you have any idea how far he would go to kill one of us?"
No. I had no idea, but i didn't care. It wasn't like I wanted to die, i just knew death was impossible with them around. I wanted to be heard, i wanted them to see that I wasn't as useless as i felt, I wasn't just a burden.
I only made it worse.
"i don't care! I never seen zalgo or his stupid minions!" i stood straighter than necessary to try to match masky's broad posture, to appear as strong as him.
I never felt so small in my life.
Hoodie laid his gloved hand on my shoulder to steady me "we would like to keep it that way." he soothed.
I tore away from him and stumbled over the uneven stony ground. Hoodie reached to catch me, but i steadied myself on my own.
"I can handle!-" i started, but masky cut me off firmly.
"No. It's not going to happen, not a chance." this was the full force of his anger. When he was tired of me and tired of my disobedience, when he was ready to shut this argument down. "I have too many irons in the fire to deal with and i dont need you being in the middle of them."
"but hoodie-"
"brian knows how to take care of himself. I don't have to worry about him getting himself killed because he can't follow simple orders. This stunt you pulled today" he gestured to the body on the floor "just proves to me that you're just as thoughtless and reckless as you have always been."
A flash of lightning somewhere off in the distance.
"i didn't ask to be left behind! You never give me a chance!"
He didn't even hesitate.
"I didn't ask to be stuck with an insubordinate child! I didn't ask for any of this, but i still do as im told!"
A hollow groan of wind.
"I would do as im told if my leader treated me like i was something more than just a waste of space! I train and train and for what? So i could just stay behind and be remind me of how useless i am?"
Hoodie tried to defuse the situation.
"Toby, its not like that."
A crash of thunder
I wasn't done. For three months I held this in, all the shame, disappointment, and confusion I've felt has incubated in my mind bringing me a new found rage i never felt before. A rage that halted my desire to act the way i was expected to.
An anger that so easily sparked inside me with my desire to be free.
"is that all I am to you? Just a waste of time? Do you just want to leave me here so you could just forget I was ever alive?"
I wanted masky to stoop down to my level. I wanted him to yell at me or insult me over some irrelevant subject, but he didn't.
He'd never stoop so low.
He wasn't like jeff or ben.
He only said.
"There are some things in this world that are worth protecting."
...
The storm finally breaks.