Dearest Punishment

Jude

Hi, it's literally been less than a day since I finished Wicked King - and I basically just locked myself in my room and quickly whipped this kind of weird story out to help myself get over the STUPIDLY BEAUTIFULLY-DONE TWIST OF AN ENDING which in case you can't tell I AM STILL NOT OVER!

This at least just helps me let out some of my feelings about the angst, hopefully you can make sense of it and enjoy!

Of course, the characters, backstory and even some of the lines I've used (including the title of this story, 'dearest punishment') belong to the amazing author Holly Black, who deserves all the credit and respect she can get.

Thanks for reading, please drop a comment to let me know what you thought - even if it's just and enraged rant about the end of Wicked King, I'd love to read it ;)))

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Jude

Sometimes things are just so out of place that it makes you sick looking at them.

Even if I hadn't known Cardan was the High King of Elfhame, he would have looked like one. Sharp, sculpted cheekbones, eyes darker than night skies. The immortal grace of faeries singing in his bones and blood.

Which is why seeing him standing on Vivi's doorstep, surrounded by the bricks and dust of the mortal world, makes me cringe. There's literally a 7/11 just down the road on the opposite side, streaking Cardan's dark hair with red and green. He never would have heard of slurpies in his life.

I might have laughed, except for the fact that this is real. And two months ago, he betrayed me in a way that I had never seen coming.

I want to hate him so badly.

For a minute, we stare at each other, his fist still raised slightly like he's about to knock on the door again. Then he smiles bitterly and says, "my Queen."

I can't do this. I'm too tired, too unprepared. For the last two months, Vivi has been nursing me back to health, trying to fill in the weight that I'd lost from the Undersea. She's been keeping me busy with errands and looking after Oak, trying in her not-so-subtle way to get me out and about in the mortal world.

She wants me to forget Faerie - and she will never understand my insistence that it's too late for that. I feel so out of place here, so useless, and.... so powerless.

Of course I hate that I think that, hate that power is still something I crave. I tell myself the real reason I need to get back is to do the right thing, end the war - and I hope that I'm right.

I've been trying to contact Madoc for weeks, drafting letter after letter and waiting at the border of Faerie to intercept someone and pass on the message. Maybe I can make a bargain with him, but I've made no progress so far.

The longer I spend in this world, the more Faerie feels like a dream. Something I created to make myself feel less hopeless.

So staring at Cardan now feels like Faerie has come back to punch me in the gut. For a moment I seriously consider just slamming the door in his stupid, perfect face.

But it scares me that he knows where Vivi's house is. Protecting my sister is my priority, no matter how much I'm dreading playing mind games with Cardan again. So I hiss, "how did you find me?"

He smiles, tilting his head to look at me. "I'm the High King, Jude. I can find out whatever I wish to know."

My hand moves, almost unconsciously, to Nightfell - hidden under my shirt and strapped to my side. See Vivi, I want to tell her, what normal girl carries a sword wherever she goes?

What normal girl would need to?

Cardan watches my movement without reaction. Then he says, "in this case, your sister was happy to help me."

Something in my chest tightens. Taryn, betraying me again. What did I expect? I'm a fool.

"Why," I ask tightly, keeping my hand on my sword.

Cardan raises his brows. "You seem to have forgotten who I am, wife. I am in the position to offer anyone anything."

It comes to me quickly, the favour Taryn asked me months ago. "You stripped Locke from his position as Master of Revels."

Cardan doesn't confirm it, but he doesn't deny either. And I'm shocked. In a time of such unrest, Cardan needs as many allies as he can get if he's going to stay king. Why anger one of his oldest friends, simply to come here?

What can he want from me that is so important?

Cardan must see what I'm thinking in my expression, and his eyes narrow. "I need to talk to you." He takes a step forwards. "I humbly request permission to enter the house of your sister."

I move to block the doorway immediately. Oak is asleep in bed, and Vivi is probably the same - or at least, trying to sleep. She's been struggling a lot lately since Heather left.

I am not letting Cardan near them. "Permission denied," I growl.

He looks like he wants to smile at that, but won't let himself. "I will not talk to you on the street, Jude. This is not a conversation for mortal ears."

I am mortal. But not in the ways that matter, obviously.

I look away. Looking at Cardan for too long is like staring into the sun - lovely and sicking and completely pointless. He can blind you and use you, just like he did to me. I won't let that happen again.

But this is my world, my rules. Cardan is out of his depth here. He's not a king of mortals, and I strongly suspect his court doesn't know about this midnight stroll he decided to take.

I can use that to my advantage. And perhaps, I can get something out of him. Whereabouts of Madoc, information about the Undersea - maybe a way to get back to Faerie.

So, I straighten my shoulders and slip my hand off my blade. I can do this again. I can play this game with Cardan once more. And I won't walk away the loser a second time.

"Come with me," I say, and I don't meet his eyes when he smiles at me.