Damn, He Can't Compare

31. the end

I expected no less when he threw me out on the streets, he locked the house doors and let me leave. After all the house was under his name, he deserved it more than me. We hadn't spoken about any fine details to our divorce or even if we were still married. The silence was worse than anything. We're only 25 years old yet lost the only love.

I huddle in front of the house, out of sight of him but in sight of passing traffic. Our street was always empty. I buried my head in my knees, freezing cold from the night weather when a car pulled up next to me. Roland stepped out, cupping his hands over his mouth and breathing into them for warmth. He grabbed a blanket out of the back seat and wrapped it around my body, before helping me into his car. I leaned my head on the cool window, the pain was like no other, I couldn't think straight, all I knew what my entire life is over, what will I do without him?

He told me he wasn't allowed to go back to his house, Kate barricaded herself in there, and would kill him if he went anywhere near her. The whole party found out, rumours circled, Manny and Ian are awaiting to hear the truth about the band's future. We found ourselves sitting on stools at a bar, already a trail long line of glasses had been emptied by the two of us. The only way to get rid of it was to black out, I was hoping it would come soon. Maybe then for a couple of hours I wouldn't remember.

Roland drove us to a hotel, it was either that or sleep on the streets, we're in the same position. He didn't care about the recklessness of drink driving, nothing matters, he lost his best friend. The room was small and stuffy, neither of us had a job now, considering the band would probably break up, I didn't even know why I thought of us being together, but it crossed my mind. I find comfort with him when I'm in pain.

In the room, we made love again and again. It was early morning when I woke up again, totally naked, I threw a pair of pants on and had to get air, to escape from the cheap hotel stuffiness. I opened the balcony door, and was immediately hit with the wind, I breathed it in.

I stood shirtless, still drunk out of my mind on the edge of the hotel balcony while the curtains billowed behind me. I must've woken Roland up too, because he appeared next to me. We stared out at the night sky, and the city lights, and everything which used to look so beautiful but now looked like hell. In a split decision, I climb on the railing to get a better look, I was so out of it at that point.

Roland climbed up too, I looked at the cars driving below. Imagine what it would feel like to hit the pavement below, he held my hand tightly, "We should jump." He whispered. I just look at him in disbelief. Before I could say another thing, he let go of my hand, leaned forward and went over the edge. I lost both men in one night, and it's all my fault.

THE END

A/N: soz this was bad skks