(Normally I would finish this chapter or the whole book before doing the rest of this stuff.)
Chapter 1
Jack in the Box
Oct 31st 2101
On the bridge of the science vessel Euclidean, the helmsman looked back over his shoulder. "Captain Schreiber, there's something lifepod size on an intersecting path."
(I'm not liking the sound of lifepod size.)
On the bridge of the science vessel Euclidean, the helmsman looked back over his shoulder. "Captain Schreiber, there's a lifepod or something on an intersecting path."
"No one but us where assigned to this sector. Hail it. See if we get a response," said Schreiber.
(Let's see if we can get rid of, said Schreiber.)
Schreiber straightened in his command chair and raised his eyebrows a bit. "No one but us where assigned to this sector. Hail it. See if we get a response."
A few minutes later the helmsman focused on his console. "No response, Sir."
"Maybe they can't respond... Hopefully not dead."
"Autopilot AI would still respond Sir."
"Well no way it just happens to be on course to cross our path. Alter our direction a bit."
After a few minutes the helmsman looked back at Schreiber. "It did alter course. It will still intercept us in a few minutes Sir."
"Understood. Maintain."
(Going over what I wrote, it seems to me there would be a protocol to alert the whole crew, those not on the bridge, to an incoming vessel, missile, or so on. Let's change that aspect of the story.
Ok, I have to do some research for warning codes. Usually I'd check multiple sources if I was serious about getting it right.)
"Understood. Maintain. Announce green alert, incoming."
The chief mate to Schreiber's right stood up. "Not much we can do about it anyway."
Schreiber glanced up at his chief mate. "No there isn't. Though I'm curious."
"Curiosity killed the cat." The chief mate walked to a thick metal door, it split in half on sliding open.
("Curiosity killed the cat." Let's see if we can get rid of cliché. Also have a problem with chief mate not actually seen leaving. I rewrote with stomped and walked, looked at "250 ways to say went" chart. External link at bottom of chapter. Looked up definition of barged.)
"Curiosity'll get us killed." The chief mate stomped over to a thick metal door, it split in half on sliding open and he barged off the bridge.
Stopping the Euclidean, the helmsman stared out the ships large front window.
Schreiber stood and walked past the helmsman. In a blink the object was right in front of them, a few feet from the glass. They both stared at it.
(Feel like rewriting this part.)
Schreiber stood and walked past the helmsman. In a blink the object sped right in front of them, stopping abruptly a few feet from the glass. They both stared at it.
"That ain't no human lifepod."
"What should we do?"
"Hopefully it'll stay put. Back off a little and turn around. We'll scoop it up in the docking bay."
YOU ARE READING
My Process of Writing a Novel, Walkthrough
RandomStep by step I show you what to do to finish a story, from the first draft to final edit. You can do it the same as me, or perhaps you can take away ideas to meld into your writing process.
