Pax Galactica - A Space Opera

Chapter 11 - Joker's Wild

Decker somehow nodded off. When he woke up his body had already reconfigured his circulatory system to take into account the fact that he was upside down. So the good news was he wouldn't die from a blood clot in his brain before he starved to death up here.

Decker pulled out his knife to try to cut himself down, but hanging from one leg he couldn't reach up high enough to cut the rope. He strained to his limit several times but there was nothing he could do. Decker put his knife back in its pocket.

He hated to have to do this but he didn't really have a choice. He would shoot himself down. Decker pulled out his pistol, fumbled it in his sweaty fingers, and dropped it to the ground.

Decker hung there for a moment limply with his eyes closed to really savor his own screw up. Eventually he nodded off again.

"Hello there," said a feminine voice with a posh Tau accent.

Decker opened his eyes. He saw the source of the voice, a young woman squatting atop a nearby rock calmly eating a familiar looking red fruit and watching him. She wore identical tailored clothes to Decker except hers were a motley of clashing colors. There was a deathward pinned over her heart in the shape of a purple jester's cap. Her frizzy hair was pulled back into twin ponytails.

Decker wasn't sure how to reply.

"Hi," he said finally. "Who are you?"

"Who am I?" asked the woman. "Who are you?"

"I asked first."

"I'm not tied upside down."

"My name's Sam. Sam Decker."

"Nice to meet you Sam-Sam, I'm Ophelia."

"No, just one Sam," said Decker.

"Too late!" said Ophelia, "First impressions count Sam-Sam."

She finished the core of her fruit in two bites, leaving nothing behind.

"Mind helping me down?" asked Decker.

"Why would I want to do a thing like that?" asked Ophelia.

She walked over so that she was directly beneath Decker and looked straight up. All he could see was her facing staring up at him, grinning like the sprelling Cheshire cat.

"Basic human decency?" Decker tried.

"Nah," said Ophelia with a dismissive wave. She noticed something on the ground and bent over.

"What have we here?" she said.

It was Decker's railpistol.

"Hey!" said Decker.

"So, Sam-Sam, this is my dilemma as I see it," said Ophelia, looking back up at him while she unconsciously twirling his gun on her finger, "I can help you down and warm the cockles of my heart with the flame of human decency, or I can take your gun here and double my available ammunition."

She pulled the cartridge out of the pistol and checked it.

"Are you kidding me?" she asked, genuinely annoyed. "You already used up a shot? It hasn't been two days yet!"

She tossed his gun back on the ground and stuck the cartridge into a pocket on her pants.

"Why not do both?" asked Decker. "Let me down and keep the cartridge."

"Because who knows what you'll do once you get down. You might want your ammunition back and I'd hate having to waste any of it shooting you."

"You can trust me," said Decker. "I'm an aspirant with A.R.C."

"So am I, and I'm not the least bit trustworthy," retorted Ophelia.

Decker thought for a second.

"If you let me down I'll pay you back. I could help you out with finding food or whatever. Four hands would make for easier work."

"So you're offering to be my slave?" asked Ophelia, cocking her head to the side.

"No, more like a partner," said Decker.

"QX," said Ophelia. "Nevermind then. See you later Sam-Sam."

"You're not really going to leave me up here, are you?" asked Decker.

Ophelia looked up at him and grinned again.

"Are you kidding me?" asked Decker.

Ophelia, still staring straight up at him, pinched her nose twice.

"Honk honk!" she said as she did so.

"Hey!" yelled Decker.

Ophelia left as Decker shouted after her. She deliberately walked away in the opposite direction of the one he was facing so he couldn't watch her go.

Decker was mad. He didn't want to waste that energy. He retrieved his knife and strained again to reach his snared leg and cut it free. He bent his body nearly in half and shook with effort but he eventually fell back into a hanging position. He took several deep breaths and tried again. Again he pushed as hard as he could but still wasn't able to reach his leg. He switched the knife to his other hand and tried that. Still nothing.

* * *

Decker had been at it for over an hour, and was really starting to become disheartened, when he heard a familiar Tau accent.

"You're really stuck up there aren't you?"

Ophelia walked around to the other side of him so he could see her. She was grinning. It seemed like she was always grinning. Not smiling. Grinning.

"No, you've called my bluff. I just like hanging upside down," said Decker.

Ophelia giggled.

"Before when you said you'd help me if I let you down, did you mean that or were you just saying anything you could think of to get down?"

"I really meant it," said Decker quickly.

"And you won't make trouble about the ammo thing because you recognize the moral absolute of finders being keepers right?"

"Right," said Decker.

"So what's your lodge? You said you were an aspirant."

"The Neutronium Dragons."

"I want you to swear on the honor of the Neutronium Dragons that you will keep your word about everything we just discussed."

"I do so swear," said Decker.

"Say it. Say the whole thing."

"I swear on the honor of the Neutronium Dragons that I will keep my word. Let me down from here and I'll do whatever you want."

"You better," said Ophelia. "Hold still and brace yourself for impact."

She pulled out a plasteel knife identical to Decker's and flicked it with practiced ease. It sailed up in an arc, sliced through the rope holding Decker aloft, and embedded in the side of a nearby tree with a thunk.

Decker fell gracelessly to the ground. He was not braced for impact.

Decker sat back up. He felt an incredible head rush as his body raced to configure his circulatory system back to normal. He held his head with both hands to steady the world.

Ophelia walked over to where her knife was. She had to hop a little to reach it and pull it free of the tree. She cleaned it on her sleeve as she turned to face Decker again.

"Alright, Sam-Sam," she said, "your slavery begins now."

"Partnership," Decker corrected her.