your hand in mine (clexa)

Chapter 12

"You're not staying?"

Clarke grins. "Lexa," she gives her a pointed look. "This is your hospital. You know they don't let visitors stay overnight."

Lexa grows visibly flustered, and she really should've seen it coming. "Oh, that's - you're right. Of course. I should've - okay, let me talk to Bob, and I'm sure we can make an excep-"

"Lex. Lexa!" Clarke catches Lexa's arm just as the suddenly frantic woman is about to run off somewhere. "It's okay. It's my mother's shift, she'll stay with him. I'll come back here first thing in the morning. She let me look at his chart. He's not in a critical condition and he needs his rest anyway. Plus, he told me to go get some sleep and he wouldn't take 'no' for an answer."

Lexa stills and turns, giving Clarke a careful, slow look. When a moment passes and she doesn't say anything, Clarke shifts on her feet. "What?"

She watches as Lexa shakes her head, losing the trance she seemingly found herself in. "Nothing, I just..." she blinks, coming closer to Clarke. Tentatively reaches out and brushes a lock of blonde hair away from her face. "Your smile is happy, and it's... It's very beautiful," she finishes quietly. "And I'm so happy for you. For your father."

All Clarke can think - feel - of doing is leaning forward and resting her forehead against Lexa's. Closing her eyes, knowing Lexa will do the same. She smiles wider when she feels Lexa's long lashes graze her cheeks when she does exactly that.

"Thank you," she croaks out. "For everything. Lexa, thank you so much ." she's out of breath, almost completely, by the time she's finished speaking, because - her dad's okay. Alive. Breathing and speaking and able to squeeze her hand back, clumsy, sloppy, when she squeezes his. All thanks to Lexa. Yes, she knows that it's another week or maybe even a month before they'd be able to tell if it really was the new treatment that helped or he did it on his own, but she also knows that it was the program that gave her her father back. The program and timing. If Lexa didn't put his name in the first wave, there's a good chance he would've died before the second wave of the program rolled around.

Her plan worked.

(She leans in and presses a soft kiss to Lexa's lips just before Lexa begins to say she shouldn't be thanking her, and maybe the plan didn't work out quite the way she imagined, but when she feels Lexa start to kiss back, she can't help but think that it's not a bad thing at all.)

"Shh," she whispers when she pulls away and Lexa goes to say something. She's not... She can't say she's entirely sure about everything between them, but - she's getting there. She wants to get there, she thinks. But there are too many thoughts and feelings making her head spin, and she needs some time to make sense of it all. So she smiles. "Let's go home."

//

How do you know you're in love? The thought flashes through her mind over and over as she runs down the stairs that are so familiar yet so foreign. It's been - how long has it been since she was here last? She can't even remember. She's sure she'd be able to if she tried. But she doesn't want to.

She drove over to Finn's. Lexa took her home and held her till she fell asleep, but around two, she woke up with a start, and there was a text. From Finn. She didn't even know how he found out about her father, but he texted her he was happy. And - she wanted to ignore him. She really, really did, but something stopped her. She thought, with a scared heart, that it was longing, and maybe it was. They shared a past. Memories. Love, even.

So when he called her, two minutes after sending that text, she picked up.

"Hey," Finn's strangled greeting was quiet, but to her, it rang loud, too loud with Lexa in the next room. "I miss you."