your hand in mine (clexa)

Chapter 13

"I hate that we need to leave this bed." She used to hate the way Lexa's smile made her feel; the warmth she mistook for discomfort spreading through her chest. Too fast, too confusing. Unwanted.

Now, she happily lets herself melt when Lexa's lips stretch in a shy, small grin that grows under her fingertips tracing beautiful contours. "I strongly... dislike it."

Clarke only hums and leans up, pressing her mouth to Lexa's in yet another kiss, unhurried, almost lazy. Peaceful , the word springs forth in her mind. How many of those have they shared in the past two hours? Clarke's both giddy and disappointed to learn she's lost count. She wants to remember each and every one. It's almost as if they just shared their first kiss, and Clarke can't get enough.

"Clarke," Lexa mumbles against her lips, and Clarke's back arches at this because - they are kissing. In her bed. After making love for hours. "We'll be late."

She whines, nuzzling at the soft, warm-smelling skin of Lexa's neck. She wants to see her father, she does. But they have to wait till two and if they skip breakfast then maybe-

"Fine," she mumbles, hands resting on the small of Lexa's back. "But when we come back..." she trails off at the apologetic look in Lexa's eyes. "Or when we... don't come back?"

Lexa sighs, and Clarke marvels, with certain incredulity, at her body's immediate response. Jesus, she thinks. It's just a sound.

But it's not. It's Lexa, she blinks with awe. ' That's what she's doing to me, and I don't want it to stop.'

She shakes her head, trying to focus on Lexa's words and not on her lips. "Anya expects me tonight," she says quietly, and Clarke wants to laugh because she sounds damn near mournful . At leaving her, she realizes, and the feeling in her chest grows, warm and solid.

She knows it's childish, but: "Can't you cancel?"

"I'm afraid not." Lexa huffs. "She was rather insistent when we spoke on the phone."

"Wait, when did you speak to her?"

She marvels at the pink that spills across Lexa's cheeks. "When, uh, when I left to get us water."

"Ah," Clarke nods as if remembering. "Right after I took three of your fingers, you mean?" The question sounds innocent as she bats her lashes at Lexa, but it's anything but.

Lexa's face flushes further. She clears her throat. "I - yes. Right after that."

"I can't believe you're still able to feel shame after everything you did to me," Clarke doesn't hold her laughter back as she teases her lover, enjoying her embarrassed smile and downcast eyes. Lexa Woods, the mighty CEO, is too adorable for her own good.

"In my defense," Lexa's expression is stern, but her eyes are sparkling with laughter, and Clarke - she can't wait to draw her. "You did things far worse."

It hurts, suddenly, deeply, and Clarke hopes Lexa doesn't see it in her eyes. She did do things far worse. She's started off using Lexa for her position, for her money. She intentionally went after her and made her fall in love with her, knowing fully well she would ruin her in the end. And the worst part is, that hasn't changed. Even after unexpectedly falling for her, Clarke is still going to break her heart, but she can't keep lying to her. Lexa has the right to know the truth.

She only hopes that the truth won't cost her Lexa, but if it does, it's the least of what she deserves.

"Hey," Lexa's whisper ghosts across her lips. "Where did you go?"