𝐈𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐭𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (Completed)

18. W H A T C A N I D O N O W ?

I V Y'S   P.O.V

"The mobile number you've dialed, is currently switched off. Please try again later. Thank you".

My hands tremble, dialing Chace's number for the thousandth time in a row. I blink twice to prevent the tears from falling.

"The mobile number you've dialed, is currently switched off. Please try again later. Thank you,"

I haven't read his letter yet. It is still in my hand as I hear it slightly crunch, I'm not ready to read what's inside it. I was waiting to have this conversation with him.

I supposed he could trust me and can take all the time he needs to recollect his thoughts, go out for breakfast down at Lester's and vent to his heart's content, parallel to how he did to me.

I wanted to be there for him.

I wanted to give him a purpose, a purpose stating he can trust me but it doesn't have to be right away.

I dial his number again, knowing he isn't going to pick up. "The mobile number you've dialed is currently switched off. Please try again later. Thank you."  A part of me wants to tear the letter,  I don't have the guts to do it. Why did he leave without saying anything? Did I do something wrong that I didn't deserve a stupid goodbye?

I'm not sad.

Sad isn't the word to use to describe this sensation swimming in me. I just feel as if my eyeballs have been ripped open, my tongue pulled out I forgot how to sob, my heart racing with the image of him leaving this world and never coming back, I am horrified, confused in dire need for answers.

It is only now that I am realizing my prophecy of us netting for a short span is true. Biting my lower lip, my refusal to show how I am is growing weaker.

I am sitting in the kitchen with my phone in my hand and Chace's letter in the other, hoping like a naive girl standing in the rain waiting for her boyfriend to call her up, sweeping her off her feet. I open the letter.

Dear Hurricane,

I can't find the words to explain why I did this or why I'm sitting here at two in the morning, pretending to be fucking Shakespeare, I'm not good with words and there is a reason why boys like me don't do this.

But here I am, once again going against my will like I did when I first brought you home after what that Carson asshole did to you, the night he almost tried to get you into his bed at the party. Honestly, this is much better than saying these things to you in person.

You see, it took my long enough to realize I can never get lucky because there is no such thing as "Luck." Fine, maybe there is but for those who depend on it, they don't realize it is short lived.

As you read this, you probably might want me to get to the point. I'm not going to waste my time anymore by beating around the bush since that isn't who I am.