The Betrayed Identity's Love Once Lost (Book 2 Identity Series)

15. Shouldn't Denounce My Own Feelings & Trauma

A/n look here guys! It's actually posted on time! Ha! I'm so proud of myself and I'm honestly so hungover. But anyways! Enjoy some Sassy Cassidy Clarke. This chapter also has some mention of mental health and PTSD.

Cassidy Clarke POV

He really was a damn dad. Telling me to brush my teeth and get to bed. He was probably more of a parent to me in that moment than 20 years with my parents.

Walking down the hall I made my way to the end room. Passing Xander and Rafael's room, along with Archer and Casey's room.

We were a family. This weird as shit and slightly fucked up family.

This was what a family should be like. Not what I went through.

God I hope we find her soon. Ive read about the Debaro family and we all know what Demitri's capable of.

But he doesn't know what we're capable of.

I'd seen the photos, I'd seen what he did to the hookers and prostitutes he 'employed' I just hoped that Lucy was strong. And that Francesca was there to keep him in line and away from Lucy.

~ Flashback ~

"You'll never be anything except my bitch!"

...

"Did you really think I liked you? Let alone loved you! God that's hilarious!"

...

"Do you really think you deserve to be happy?"

...

"Do you really think you'll ever be enough for someone?"

...

"Why? Why do you hate me so fucking much?! What did I ever do to you?!" I yell

You should have died!-"Aspen yelled at my face as she clutched the belt tighter in her grip. "-you are nothing, you will never been anything, I hate you. I hate you with every part of my being, why?-" she chuckles darkly.

I'm so close to the can of hairspray by this point that I felt the cold metal touch my taut and hot skin.

"-why not?" She laughs

Why not

Why Not..

"Baby?" My eyes move to Drew's. I was standing in the hallway with Drew standing in the doorway of our room.

Drew Garrett POV

Cassidy was taking too long. She had snuck off to 'eat cake and annoy Leon' which I believe was her lingo to eat cake and check that Leon was alright.

They had gotten closer in the last couple of months. She also kept him in line. Archer joked that she had become 'second-in-command' and Archer was pushed down to third. Not that he minded. It meant that Cassidy has taken over some of his duties and he could focus on Casey.

God knows Casey needed it. With everything he's been though in his short 19 years of life he deserves the world. And it already seems that Archer made it his mission to do just that.

I hear a small sob coming from the hallway.

Getting up off the bed I make my way towards the door and opened it.

Cassidy stood in front of me with tears falling from her eyes, her lip quivered as she clenched her fists.

"Baby?" I ask. Her eyes dart to mine as her lip quivered again. Pulling her into me I squeezed her tightly as she let out a small sob and gripped my shirt in her hands.

I knew what this was. It was her past catching up with her again. Flashbacks of her past had been haunting her the last month. She was happy in front of everyone until she broke - typically with only me present to witness her break.

"Shhh it's okay baby, you're okay, I got you." Cassidy shoves her face into my chest. Closing the door I pick her up as kiss her hair as she wraps herself Tighter around me.

Sitting us down on the edge of the bed , I wait until she calms down by whispering to her and running my hands through her hair.

A few minutes later Cassidy moves her head so she's looking up at me.

Her eyes glazed, red and puffy. "I'm sorry..." She mumbles so quietly I almost don't hear her.

"Don't you dare apologize. What did I say?" I look down at her to see her look down in her lap and pout.

"That you're here for me and that I shouldn't denounce my own feelings or trauma..." She mutters.

"And?..." I prompt.

Cassidy blows out a huffed breath "-and that it's not healthy to keep in to myself, that you love me and want to help me through it, that I'm not anything the people from my past said to me." She says quietly.

"Exactly, and like I said I love you and I'm not going anywhere okay?" She nods with as small miniscule smile on her face before mumbling a small 'thank you'.

We sat in silence for a while longer just being in each other's presence.

"Leon's letting us help. Archer and Casey are going to watch Declan when we find Lucy." She says quietly.

"Good. He needed to stop controlling everything, especially when we are only trying to help." I sigh as I pull my arms tighter and readjust her in my lap.

"I think it'd be good if you talked to him. He needs reassurance that he's doing right by Declan and it can't come from me." I nod at the information.

"I will try tomorrow, but right now you need to brush your teeth and go to sleep." Cassidy lets out a snort.

"God you sound just like Leon, are you sure you don't want to be a dad?" She laughs.

"I do, but we can discuss that after we get Lucy and that way Leon will leave us alone." I state shrugging my shoulders.

"I-what? Excuse me?" She was gaping like a fish.

"Later. Teeth, bed, now."

A/n well then, this wasn't what I had thought I'd write but here it is. You aren't alone, you are stronger than your past and previous trauma. I hope you all find yourselves, and that you beat your past trauma. Xx