"Life can't be fair all the time Anika" Her late mother words encoached in her head and her heart clenched , stopping her in mid "You can't just run away from all ur problems " her mother last word stopped her and she turned back towards her husband , Only her head knows, how much she want to hate this man and run away from him and his this successfull world "He used you for success" her innerself cried "And Now he is guilty too" her heart whispered , and forced her to go close to him and console him "Your Sister betrayed him , How would you reacted if this would had happened with you?" her heart asked and she exhaled , trying to fight with all emotions and took a right decision , May be She don't want to hear all the shits , but she don't want to run away from truth too .. She knew , She is the one who always wanted to know , Why her husband always end up on pushing her away and not letting her get close to him , Her heart always wanted to know the reason behind his ignorance , rudeness ..
"Anika" Shivay breathed with teary eyes , when he noticed her standing like a statue "I agree , I made a mistake , but please don't run away from me like this , Atleast listen me once" he begged and took steps close to her with cautions .
"Don't" Anika warned , signing for him to not took even a single step towards her , her heart clenched, tearing her apart , She just can't see him crying even it's first time he is crying at front if her , but instead of relief she felt pang in het heart..
"Don't do this" he begged and she nodded negatively with tears streaming down from her eyes ..
"I am not doing anything.. " her voice cracked and she exhaled "It's you who is doing all this , You are the one who used me for your benefits , You are the one who came to me and used me for show off , You are the one who came to me for fullfilling your physical desires" her eyes emitted fire , and in anger she didn't even realised the words which were coming out from her mouth ..
"I didn't did anything without your consult...." Anika shaked her head without letting Shivay complete his sentence .
"Enough " She cried and fell down on her knees , her baby's death hurted her but being used for someone profit is killing her..
"You need to listen to me Anika" He once again begged and quickly get close to her for holding her in his arms , If it was the old Shivay, he wouldn't had give a shit to her cries like before , but this Shivay can't just see her like this , he simply don't know what these feelings are but the one thing which is completely clear for him is he can't just live without her ..
"Right now , Again I m being selfish" He said with tears and Anika stare him angrily "I am again using you for myself by trying to keep you close with me" He continues and look straight in her eyes , making her sigh ,The only feeling ,Anika felt right now is complete defeat "I .... I just can...can't let you go away from me , It hurts like hell" he stammered and look towards her with pain in his eyes " I hate when you walk away from me , I hate myself when you hide your pain your tears from me ,I don't want anything now , I just want you and a perfect family with you , i am going crazy because of everything , I just can't take it all anymore ,it hurts , it's killing me"he cried and tears continued making their way down from his eyes and she melts , She can be angry on him , ignore him or not talk to him but can't see him like this ,She can't deny that at a point she too given up on him ,she too didn't try to mend him and broke the wall around his heart ,She too chooses her ego , self respect over him.
Staring him angrily and raising her hand for slapping him for his all mistakes but seeing his eyes close and his head down , She stopped , instead of slapping him She choosed to hug him , she scotted close to him and wrapped her both arms around his neck and her next word amazed herself too "Everyone makes mistake Shivay" She wiped away his tears and placed a kiss on his hairs . "I am Sorry" he begged and hugged her more tightly "It hurted like hell when i got to know about your first miscarriage , I didn't accept but i was dying, I wanted to cry but i didn't knew how to , I.... " his breathing laboured and he gulped and breathe steadily "I ... I blamed myself for not staying in home with you and taking care of our little one, the one which was yours as well as mine too" Anika leaned against him ,joining her forehead with his and tried to look in his eyes but he just shaked his head negatively and continued "Whenever I saw you crying for our loss ,I just didn't find myself coming to you and console you , I thought if you will get pregnant again then may be you will be normal once again ,May be i was wrong but not my intentions " he hiccuped and scotted more close to her , he closed his eyes tightly knowing his next confession will surely make her slap him and leave him ,his fear got his best and he was about to stop ,but his innerself pushed him to confess and closing his eyes he did "Next time , there was complexity in your pregnancy, When you took appointment with Dr Kapoor and I joined you ,he told me that your pregnancy is not good for your health , You can't make it out ,he even said that there wasn't a single chance he can save anyone of you if you continued with your pregnancy" he stammered and her brows knitted in confusion, She don't know where he is going to but she isn't liking this and she knew very well that she isn't going to take this news very well but still she decided to listen "I was stuck , I thought we should give it a chance and I did ,but when one more month passed and you started getting pale and allot of sick after having medicine as well as nutrition diets ,it didn't went well with me and when i visit Dr kapoor , he taunted me to still trying to take a chance with your life " Shivay parted away from Anika ,went a little away from her ,His eyes were down with complete shame "I got selfish again , I know we didn't spent a day together and act like a normal couple, but you were/ are my only family , I can't ever bear to loose you So i choosed you" her eyes widened and heart clenched with pain as well as love , She find herself stuck with her feelings and emotions " I told him that i am ready to give up on baby because there wasn't a little bit of chance and if any case the baby would make it then he would be physically disable , I didn't wanted to be selfish but i didn't even want to live him in that way , I can't even imagine him sitting on a wheel chair or not being able to see or anything else ,I can't be this much selfish to bring him in this world for our happiness and let him get taunted and played by others , I thought about every possible conditions and ended on giving up on him" he sighed and gulped "I told Dr kapoor to abort him" .
