Tellus | ONC 2020

091:11:14:12:10:37

I take a rapid, strained breath. The pressure forces my body against my seat. I can't move, but every muscle in my body is flexed almost to its point of breaking. Quick breath. I am sure, that if I had a mirror right now, it would look like I had just had the most effective face lift, but even if I had a mirror, I would not be able to hold it up in front of me. I squeeze my legs tight, then my butt, then my stomach, to push the flow of blood up towards my head – quick breath. My breaths get less and less efficient, the black spots before my eyes begin to grow, quick breath, I am barely taking in any oxygen, and I recognize the feeling creeping up on me; the tickling numbness in the back of my head. Lights are flickering all around me, and I hear the beeps of the controls without registering them. In my last breath, no air moves across my lips, and I know I have failed. In a matter of seconds, my eyes go completely dark and I am not capable of screaming, much less breathing.

I am trapped in a maze-like jungle. Strange plants surround me, and a strong smell of cardamom, roasted caramel, and strawberries fills the air. Particles of what might be pollen or small, feathered seeds flow softly around me. Some appear to be faintly bioluminescent when they enter the deep shadows underneath the large, thick leaves of a large, indistinguishable palm tree. Above me are treetops of bright orange crowns; around me, vividly purple bushes; and below me, between the green blades of grass, curiously pale pink flowers that almost look like soft feathers are peeking up at me. I had just concluded a curious lack of insects, when a winged creature buzzes right by my ear. I flinch but am quickly dazzled by the moth. It is unlike anything I have ever seen. It is about the size of my fist, its wings iridescent dark blue, shifting from neon green to purple as it flies.

The mesmerizing animal settles on the petals of a pure white blossoming flower with serrated edges. I move closer in order to get a better look at the insect and the beautiful patterns on its back. My face is only about a foot away, when the flower starts spiraling, gripping into the air, before it retracts with its petals closed tight. It nearly hits my face, its motion surprisingly powerful. I fall back to avoid the chainsaw-like flower, and it settles back in, now closed like a secretive rose bud. Sticking out between two petals is a part of the iridescent wing. Twisted and broken, it flickers a little, before it gets completely still. Either the flower is carnivorous, or the moth got really unlucky. From one of the sharp ends of the petals, a red drop is making its way down the curved figure of the flower bud. The deep cherry red kind of looks like blood against the innocent white velvet petal. I reach for my cheek, and when I hold my finger up to my face, a twin drop is hanging off the tip. The drop loses the battle against gravity, and it disappears into the grass, before it is absorbed by the ground. Within a second, the pale pink feathers between the grass turns scarlet within a short radius of my blood. This place is a little unnerving.  I am definitely not in Texas anymore.

It looks like multiple plants, but for some reason I perceive them all as one. It is all around me, and all its branches, stems, and leaves are moving in unison. It could just be the wind pulling at the vegetation, but it seems to be reaching towards something. It is trying to reach me; to grab me; capture me, so I start running. I am pushing big, dark leaves out of my face, I hurdle wild snake-like stalks, until finally, a hole opens up in the ground beneath me, and this strange place swallows me whole, consumes me.

"Fuck," is the first word to leave my lips, when Moon persistently slaps her hand against the glass in front of my face. I hate the dreams I have during G-LOC. They are too real; it is almost like my consciousness travels to another world. A real one, that is. What is most weird is, they are always the same. It's this unearthly Garden of Eden landscape, which then turns into a hostile environment that tries to kill me and sometimes succeeds. Every time I am unaware of the danger, because my dream-self does not remember the last time I was there. It is almost as if that is what I my brain wants Proxima d to look like. G-induced loss of consciousness can be a real bitch.