Tellus | ONC 2020

091:11:14:08:58:43

"You have a visitor," the artificial voice of my room's local computer system pulls me back to a responsive state. I am gasping for air, when the lights of my room seem to attack my eyes, every wall painfully over-exposed.

"Who– who is it?" I ask the voice, while trying to regain control of my breathing.

"Itai Mahanya, Tellus XII biochemist," she informs me, and I climb out of my bed, grunting, trying to fight the exhaustion that weighs down my every limb.

"Come in," I direct, and the door slides to the side on my command, revealing Itai in the hall, and I repeat, more softly, "Come in."

"Hey, we missed you at dinner" he says, as he awkwardly passes the threshold to my room. It's not really private though, I barely have anything personal except for Po, a stuffed polar bear, whom I quickly toss behind my bed.

"Right, I'm sure Sm–" I have to fight the urge to reveal my not-so-flattering nickname for my crewmate, "–Watson must have been devastated by my no-show."

"Why are you soaked?" Itai seems to briefly forget the purpose of his visit, when he notices the state, I am in.

"Uh," I swallow some viscous spit, my mouth extremely dry, "Intense workout."

"And, what is that noise?" I can easily read the perplexity on his face, "Gray, what is going on?"

"Sorry, it helps me focus," I hit the off-button on the plaque, relieved to be free of the sound that somehow put me in some kind of hallucinatory trance, and I bite my lip to hide the fact that it is quivering from my own bewilderment, "I needed to clear my mind after the training session earlier. I was particularly trying to forget a certain person who really messes with my sanity."

I meet him in the kitchenette that separates the sleeping area from the entrance, and he subtly smiles at me.

"Never mind them," he comforts me, "They just think less of us because our fields are not hard sciences."

"You mean him. Watson. And, you mean me. My field is a soft science. You're a biochemist," I reach for a glass that almost slips out of my hand on its way to the faucet, "I need some water – care for a drink?"

"N-No–" he stutters still hesitant to accept my trembling state of exertion, "Thank you."

"Anyway, I don't care how they think about me," I breath in between swigs of water, "I just care to get through the preparations."

"Come on," he looks at me, and before I know it, I roll my eyes at him. I don't mean to be so short with him. I'm just so done trying to prove myself and failing all the time, and I am definitely not asking for his sympathy, "GTT gets pretty ugly."

"You're not running off, vomiting your intestines out. I just hate it when they're side-eyeing me – don't deny it, I know they are – and that smug look on his face, ugh! I just wish I could wipe it right off." I wave my hand in the air. imagining the sound of his face meeting the palm of my hand. It feels pretty good.

"You will get there eventually, Aris," his hand settles on my upper arm, unaffected by the drying sweat, "I believe in you."

God, I really enjoy how he over-pronounces every sound. He makes my native language sound so charming, when every word is allowed its space, and the sentence isn't just smushed like it's just one long word.

"Eventually is not good enough. I need to get there by tomorrow," I look at him, then to his hand still on my arm, then back to his face, "I have an idea. And you, Mahanya, are going to help me."

I drag him out of my room, pulling at some hidden source of energy, I didn't know I still had in me. I am running down the halls and cross a closed bridge structure to get to the training facility, never letting go of his hand.