21: To Keep a Secret

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"If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself." - George Orwell, 1984

-

The following day, Juliette awoke, as predicted, with a banging headache. Thomas was, and always had been, smug in his ability to avoid a hangover regardless of the obscene amounts of alcohol he consumed, but in trying to keep up with him whilst also being in possession of a much smaller, well, everything, Juliette always seemed to wake up with the very specific sensation of having been hit by a truck. She had never resented Thomas as much as she did that day, for in order to flaunt his lack of a hangover he made sure to march around downstairs and create as much noise as physically possible. Juliette might have thought that they had been caught and were thus being raided by the Nazis if not for Alexis' various shouts at him to be quiet.

After one particularly loud resounding crash, in which it sounded like he might have just dropped every single pot and pan they owned onto the kitchen tile simultaneously, Alexis had had enough, and even Juliette, ailing though she was, couldn't suppress her laugh.

"THOMAS!"

Juliette sat up on her bed and rubbed her eyes, blinking away the bleariness, before running a hand through her hair and venturing out of her room. She closed her door to find herself opposite Martin, who had obviously also had enough of trying to sleep through the commotion.

"I'm gonna kill that wanker," he told her with an entirely straight face. Juliette laughed.

"Make it as slow and painful as possible, please."

The pair ventured downstairs together, both still in their sleepwear, and found Alexis seated at the kitchen table with a newspaper, glaring at Thomas over the top of it whilst the other man rushed around to put whatever he'd destroyed in his noise-making back in its original place.

"Afternoon," Alexis greeted Juliette and Martin. She came to sit opposite him whilst Martin merely glared at Thomas.

"You're gonna get it, mate."

Thomas smiled innocently. "I don't think that's wise, actually, since I'm on grocery duty today."

Martin rolled his eyes. "Jules'll do it."

Here, Juliette guffawed. "No I won't!"

"Well, if Jules is doing it then -"

"I'm not doing it!"

"Jules -"

"- Thomas -"

" - Martin -"

"Oh my Christ, will you all just shut up!" Alexis shouted, standing up from his seat and slamming his newspaper down onto the table. "It's like living with children. No one's killing anyone and Thomas is doing the groceries. Jesus bloody Christ I can't take it anymore." And with that he sat back down again and resumed reading his paper.

Juliette, Thomas, and Martin all looked between each other with warning expressions, daring any of the others to speak up, though when the silence remained Thomas merely returned to clearing up the kitchen and Martin came to sit beside Juliette at the table. Juliette rested her head on her crossed forearms on the table.

"You've hurt my head, Alex," she moaned, squeezing her eyes tight shut.

Alexis rolled his eyes but made no reply.

"Where's the booklet?" Thomas asked a while later, "I suppose I may as well go out for the shopping now." The booklet was government-issued and had to be taken to the supermarket in order to receive the correct rationing of supplies. The rationing wasn't nearly so bad now as it had been three years prior, in 1940, but it was still quite substantial what with the U-boats blowing up every British supply ship they found in the Channel. It was almost exactly what they British had done to the Germans during the Great War, though it was far less morale-boosting to be on the other, more unfortunate end.

Alexis retrieved the booklet out of a drawer for Thomas and handed it to him in silence before resuming his position at the table. When the fair-haired man passed Juliette on his way to the front door he ruffled her hair affectionately, though she didn't react and instead waited for the sound of the front door opening and slamming closed again, flinching even so when she heard it. For an undercover specialist, he really did seem to have quite a difficult time not slamming doors.

"Have you had any water yet today?" Alexis asked, obviously noticing her flinch. Only then did Juliette raise her head from the table.

"No," she mumbled, beginning to massage her temples.

Alexis was on his feet and at the tap faster than she could even register, and before she knew it there was a glass of water on the table before her. She thanked him and downed it almost as fast as she had done her pint in the boat race the night before, smiling slightly at the memory.

"Tom and I won another boat race last night," she told him once she'd finished the glass, watching as a smile seemed to want so badly to spread across Alexis' lips. "It's okay, Alex, you're allowed to smile. I promise I won't take it as you condoning my actions."

Alexis merely rolled his eyes. "No doubt said boat race is the cause of your headache this morning. I hope it was worth it."

Juliette grinned. "Oh, it was definitely worth it. Besides, it was more likely the shots of whiskey than the beer." She laughed at Alex's expression. "You should come next time. The yanks are rather fun, actually, though if you tell a single one of them I said that I'll kill you on site."

"You'd blow your cover," Alexis commented drily. She shrugged.

"They probably still wouldn't work it out."

Martin laughed and she grinned. After a short pause she said, "You know, Alex, you don't always have to be our CO. Sometimes you can just be our friend."

Alexis averted his eyes back down to his newspaper. "I can't be both?"

Juliette sighed. "You are both, and you know it, but you don't always have to be on us about work. Surely it's exhausting to think of nothing else."

"You should come with us next time," Martin reiterated. Alexis didn't look up though Juliette hoped he was actually considering it. She wondered what he even did with all the time he spent on his own in the house. "Jules could use someone more vigilant to keep an eye on her, really," Martin added, knowing this was the bargaining chip that would sway Alexis in their direction.

Juliette rolled her eyes. "Not true."

Alexis smiled slightly, rolling his eyes though never once looking up from the paper. "Maybe."

"Is that a yes?" Juliette grinned.

He huffed, but was smiling more openly now. "It's a maybe."

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