The Heroine's Best Friend

Chapter 5 Part 3: A Contest of Wits

"I hope we're not too late," Maria said with concern as our carriage was very slowly making its way to the Imperial Gardens. 

"I'm sorry, this is my fault."

"Oh no, I'm not blaming you. We knew we had to leave early to go by carriage. I just didn't think about the traffic jam to get in." Most everyone we knew was teleporting to the gardens. But not wanting to risk another bout of sickness, I had decided to go by carriage. I tried to persuade Maria to go before me, but she wouldn't leave me alone. 

"How far away are we?" I ask. 

"I don't very. But this line just isn't moving." Risking impropriety, I heave a sigh and open the carriage door. "Christine!!" Maria shouts with a startle. 

"Relax, I'm just trying to see what's going on." I stand up to hang myself halfway out the door to try to gain an advantage to see ahead. We aren't all that far as I can see the gate. There is a checkpoint set there which explains the slowdown. Considering the size of the event it doesn't surprise me that security is tight. "We could walk to the gate from here," I shout back towards Maria. "The security checkpoint is bogging the whole thing down." 

"WATCH IT!!" I hear a man shout. A carriage is barreling up the side quickly and I manage to haul myself back in before it takes my head off. 

"HEY! YOU WATCH IT ASSHOLE!!" God, I always hated jerks who clearly see the lane is ending yet fly up the side to cut in line. I flick the carriage off for good measure. 

No sooner than the carriage passes by but it comes to a sudden stop. 

Shit. 

I slam the door shut and sit down quickly. 

"What's going on?" Maria askes me innocently. 

"Ha. Ha. Nothing." I laugh nervously as I smooth my dress out. "We shouldn't stress it. We definitely will make it in time. After all, you're the protagonist. Even if this is an inconsequential promo event, it would never omit you." 

**Tap Tap**

The rap on the door nearly makes me jump out of my seat. 

"Is someone knocking on the door?" 

"Just ignore it," I say nervously. Shit. Mr. Speedypants also has road rage. 

**Tap Tap**

"It sounds like someone is there," Maria leans to open the door. 

"NO! We don't know who it is?! Could be a kidnapper for all we know!" But Maria doesn't listen and opens the door. I swallow hard trying to steady my nerves. Who knows what kind of maniac I just pissed off. 

"Chickadee!" I am greeted with a disgusting smile. 

All my nerves float away instantly while I make my usual disgust noise upon seeing this annoying man. 

"Duke Victor!" Maria exclaims in a sweet-sounding surprise. "Why are you knocking on our carriage door?"

"Well," he says as he enters and sits down next to me despite my lack of offer to do so. I maneuver myself into the opposite corner. "I needed to apologize to Lady Christine. My inattentive driver nearly caused an unfortunate accident." That shit-eating grin all over his face made it perfectly obvious he had heard my insults to his driver. "But perhaps I should give him a raise since it has allowed us to meet in such a serendipitous way." I roll my eyes. 

"Are you on your way to the gardens as well?" Maria asks. I stare at her. Really? I know we are told there is no such thing as a stupid question. But that was a stupid question. Glancing at Duke Speedypants, I see he also has that same look questioning if her inquiry was serious. 

"I think what Maria means, is that we are surprised to see you going to the gardens via carriage. I would have assumed you would have teleported in as that would be the less stressful means of transportation." 

"Ah. I could have, yes. But I had a feeling that I would pick up some stray chicks if I went this way." In other words, he knew I couldn't teleport and Maria would accompany me by carriage. Damn capture target. 

"Yes, I am forever doomed to arrive slowly. I thank you for your concern, but as you see I am completely unharmed. Please don't linger for our sakes." He better not be thinking of sitting here with us the whole way in. Who knows how long that will be. 

"Oh, I wasn't planning on lingering. I am a rather impatient person." Thank God for a small miracle. "But since we were able to meet in such a way you should accompany me!" 

"What for?" I accidentally slip from my ladylike persona. 

"You're very kind." It was Maria's turn to cover my blunder. 

"Come now!" he grabs my hand and pulls me out of my seat.

"Now hold up a second!" I protest.

"I can get us past the guards much quicker. Get a move on ladies!" 

"How fortunate!" Maria exclaims and pushes me gently out the door. 

Resigned to our fate, I exit our carriage to enter the duke's instead. I make a point to make sure Maria and I sit next to each other so he can't weasel himself next to either of us. 

It's annoying how nice his carriage is. Instantly my butt feels much better as the seating is well padded. The carriage is also more spacious than the public carriage we had hired. Victor sits down across from us with his wide playboy smile. I glance at Maria who is equally smiling dumbly. Tsk. Fine. Let the children grin like idiots at each other. Victor raps twice on the ceiling and the carriage moves forward. 

"Thank you so much for your generosity," Maria says. 

"No need to thank me. The pleasure is all mine." 

"I was fearful we wouldn't make it and lose out from participating."

"I would never let that happen. Beautiful flowers belong in a garden." 

"The weather is perfect for flower viewing! I hope we have enough time to see all the grounds," Maria says without catching the meaning of his comment.

"Even if there is a lack of time, you must see the gazebo in the western gardens. It is simply delightful at dusk and you both must make an effort to visit." 

"Seeing the sunset must be very beautiful! Christine, we must make a note to see it!"

Is this conversation scripted? Not only is it the sappiest shit I have ever heard uttered with sincerity, but I am bored by its lack of actual content. 

"Sure," I say deadpanned. 

"Lady Christine, have you decided on a design for your handkerchief?" Victor asks me. 

"Not really. Since I don't know what color I will end up with, I can't really plan for anything specific," I say with a shrug. Another small miracle, even though in my past life I had never learned embroidery, Lady Christine must-have. I found I had all the necessary muscle memory to not completely shame myself. 

"Surely there is a color your aiming for." 

"Not specifically." 

"No need to be shy! All the ladies are strategizing what to pick. I would love to know." 

"I have no such strategy." 

"I'm aiming for something pink!" Maria interjects. 

"How lovely! You should pick one that closely matches your hair. As for Lady Christine, might I suggest you select a purple handkerchief? I would complement your lovely eyes." 

I shrug. "If the opportunity arises I'll consider it." 

"Fantastic!" he exclaims with a clap. 

The drive to the gardens felt even longer.