I Am Bree - Book 1

Chapter 30 - A Plan & Unexpected Aid

I almost wilted beneath the stagnant air of the dungeons. Sagging uselessly in the guards' grasp, I dragged my feet along in an automatic attempt to keep up. Each step brought a greater weight crushing down on my chest until it was difficult to breathe at all.

Despite the overwhelming atmosphere, my thoughts were focused elsewhere. As we descended into the now familiar, dim-lit, open room of the dungeon, my mind was desperately trying to catch up with my body. I couldn't seem to fully comprehend what had just happened.

One image kept replaying in my head: that straight, black-clad figure standing tall in the rain. He'd stood beside me facing the man who had raised him without shrinking. His submission had never meant he was scared. Rather, it was a sign of loyalty, and now that he'd stepped out of line—how much had it cost him?

I couldn't get the image of King Erik striking him out of my head. What had possessed him to step in like that? It had been obvious to me Kotaro didn't want to stand like that in front of all those people. He didn't want to undermine his father's rule. I couldn't understand why he would hurt himself in that way for me.

The grating sound of my cell door opening barely registered in my mind before my guards had already released me and locked the door behind them. Too weak to stand, I crumpled like a ragdoll onto the floor.

I lay there staring at nothing and trying to reign in the bout of hysteria that threatened to overcome me. In the midst of all the insanity, I hadn't realized to what extent my adrenaline had powered me, but now that it was all over, I felt the weight of reality threatening to obliterate me.

I remained in position for an undeterminable amount of time. Finally, the chill of the air drove me to drag myself into the nearest corner in a vain attempt for warmth. I buried my head in my arms and attempted to look at recent events logically, trying to make sense of it all.

First of all, I'd believed a lie for my entire life. Madame and the girls' cruelty and disgust made so much more sense now. I wasn't really a part of their family. Madame—my aunt—must have thought I had somehow stolen her position in Father's—uncle's—heart only because of the obligation he felt toward his sister.

Honestly looking at the matter, I couldn't be entirely sure that wasn't the truth. He'd fully admitted to feeling guilt toward my mother in his letter. Had he ever really loved me, or had he simply felt that it was his duty to look after me since he had failed my sister so catastrophically?

I remembered every fond look and kind word, every time he'd said he loved me. No, there was no way he'd only felt a sense of obligation toward me. If that had been the case, he would have sent me off to some school to have me raised far away from his side, so that I wouldn't be a constant reminder of his guilt.

A lump welled in my throat. I had ruined his life. He'd loved and cared for me, and the only reward he'd ever received was disdain from his own wife and daughters. Pain seared through me as I realized how thoroughly I had ruined the lives of everyone around me.

This turned my mind toward the second thought warring for attention in my brain: what sort of punishment had my existence brought upon Kotaro? He'd lived his life in peaceful normality so far, and if I hadn't come along, nothing would have upset that balance. I was a curse on his existence just as I had become a curse to Una and Aidan and everyone else who tried to be close to me.

The sound of shuffling feet outside my cell drew me out of my thoughts. I lifted my head, my cheeks damp with tears and peered into the darkness in an attempt to discover who was there. It took me a moment to recognize the figure in the dim light, but when I did, it broke my heart.