room 609 | r.p

s i x t e e n

• • •

𝕤𝕪𝕕𝕟𝕖𝕪

I woke up in a better mood. I still felt like shit, but it was better.

I had breakfast with everyone and watched a movie on the couch. Chase and I had a playful argument over yesterday's sheet problem— nearly ending in me throwing his own bedsheets off the balcony until Madelyn made us stop. Everything felt normal again except for the fact that I felt a little distracted. Rudy was distant... I don't blame him, I ended our conversation yesterday on a rough note— it makes sense, I guess.

Everything was going okay until Jacob called me into the studio. This morning made me forget about the album and the current problems with it— but as soon as he mentioned it, I quickly came down from my high.

But now, I'm currently right back to where I was yesterday. Sitting at the desk of my studio, empty notebook in front of me and a worried Kelsie on my left— and now, a stressed Jacob on my right.

"Syd, we promised from the get go that we wouldn't have writers help you out with your songs. You wanted them to be completely raw..." Jacob trails off, running his hands through his hair that is now a tousled mess due to the amount of times he's pulled at it.

"I know, I know," I mumble, nervously picking at my nails. "I just- I have no inspiration. I cant— I don't mean to disappoint you guys, but I have nothing." I apologise, feeling awfully guilty.

Every time I try to think of something to write about, my mind goes completely blank. There's nothing, absolutely nothing. I've been trying my hardest... I even stayed up late last night trying to figure something out— but I was left with yet again a blank page.

"I don't mean to be an asshole," Jacob starts. "But we need some songs soon as possible. If we don't get this done— we are going to lose so much money. I don't want to disappoint your fans either, I know how much you love them."

I nod my head, chewing on the inside of my cheek. "I understand... again, I'm so sorry."

He lets out a sigh. "I'm going to leave... I'm stressed and I know it's making you feel even worse," he says, picking up his bag from the floor and rising from his seat. "I'll catch you both later."

Kelsie and I watch at he walks out of the studio in a rush, leaving the two of us in silence. Kelsie slowly turns back around to face me, a look of sympathy on her face.

"Tell me what's going on in that pretty little head of yours." she says, her London accent making her words seem professional and posh.

I put my head in my hands. "I can't write. I miss home. I'm disappointing you guys. I just—" I let out a frustrated sigh. "I don't know anymore, Kels. Lately I've been feeling like shit... I've never felt like this."

She nods understandingly. "You've got a lot on your plate at the moment, it's normal to feel this way... but at the moment, Syd— we need to get some songs started..."

Of course... it's all about the stupid fucking songs and getting this album out on time.

I don't respond, looking at the ground and fiddling with the pen in my hands— now feeling super overwhelmed. "I think I'm gonna head home."