REASON TO LOVE AGAIN

rant angyst

you guys are wondering why am i aint updating yet right???
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why i sudden stop updating all suddenly then updated a lot longer like days, months, weeks etc. etc.

welp everyone guess why?

Im Fucking depressed

yall hear and why the title is rant because i want to rant to bring my feeling of sadness out of me so i trust you guys as my best friends on this.

Im been depressed ever since the start of high school years. Been bullied, being frame something i didn't do, almost expelled, betrayed by others, spread fake rumors about me, and many more.

my friends left because im different to them or too weird. I was about to drop out till i meet my real friends there. that makes me stop dropping out. they were been there for me.

my depression were slowly healing till it got worst when im home. My parents always favor on my little sister than me cause she's out going person while me, stay at home, doing nothing but clean the house.

they never say things that i did a good job whenever i do that. I was entitled as the 'masipag na bata' it means a smart kid who do chores, while my little sister was lazy and a little bit spoiled.

im not mad at my parents by the way. they did support me and help me coop up at school. till you all guys know my mom passed away. that gotten my depression got worst and worst.

my teachers was trying to help me heal as well as my friends but i always says to them ' im fine' or ' feeling great' yet im death inside.

my mother always to saw that i am not the only one who is depressed but the whole world. I don't think she understand what i meant. till i found this app, when my friend introduce to me.

i read and read the stories making me feel like i wanna make so here i am. a wattpad writer who has 200+ followers which i am very happy about it.

I think my depression is slowing down now till it was risen again when my little sister did something to me. I felt embarrassed in front of my two cousins about she said something not so nice about me. Then i told her leave me alone till she threaten me that she will beat me up or else. i was furious at her as i stomp my way to the bathroom. My dad wasn't helping as well.

I felt mad and sad. I cried when i know my whole family was asleep. I want to asked help but i cant cause i fear for myself and the others. I was hesitate to write this but i made up my mind.

I just got my emotion back and now.......they taken my emotions away.

im sorry of i got you guys very emotional right now. please forgive me.

i don't feel updating today or soon. i need some time.

hope you guys understand and good night.

this is Stella_9977, out.

02/26/21