Mansfield Park "The Crawfords' redemption"

Chapter 5

But that meant she would have to go back to her parent's house, and that was totally out of the question, she could not go back there in this state, her heart torn to pieces, her health delicate. Knowing that his love was in vain did not remove it instantly, he still couldn't bear the thought of his beloved Fanny pining away and dying of deprivation or catching consumption within a year. She was eighteen, and violently in love with no hope of return and even of public grieving, she must not be left on her own, she needed care from someone who knew and understood.

He could but think of one person in her life qualified to give her that care, and that was himself. He had only wanted to make her happy, and now all hope of that seemed lost. But he had promised himself he would prove his consistency to her, in the conviction that she would love him eventually, true, but had he wanted to make her happy for his own good or for hers?

She was still weeping in his arms, lost in her grief once again. But losing herself in grief was only the beginning of her downfall, and he loved her too much to let that happen, so he locked his own intense feeling of loss away again, and tried to catch her attention. 'Fanny, Fanny' She looked up at him, eyes red, cheeks tear-streaked, extreme fatigue all over her pale features, still beautiful but in a disturbing way. 'Fanny, please listen to me for a moment. We need to think about what to do next. I can hold you for as long as you like, but once we leave this room I will have to be your brother's friend again.

You cannot go back to your parents, you are not able to hide your grief and you have no privacy there. And anyway, you wouldn't survive for a month, you need to go back to the country, to your own room.' The thought of going back to her parents' house clearly abhorred Fanny, and Henry said: 'I'll take you to Mansfield Park, today, or tomorrow, in which case you'll have your own room in this inn, I'll take care of it, it will all be decent.' At this remark, Fanny clearly thought of the cost, and the trouble it would put him through without ever getting a return.

Voice betraying some emotion after all, Henry told her: 'Don't worry about obligations, I wouldn't be much of a man if I stopped caring about you because you cannot return my love. Don't waste energy even thinking of it, I can afford it.' Fanny had stopped crying now, and looked at him in wonder, Edmund forgotten for a really short moment. 'You are a much better man I ever gave you credit for, Henry, can I call you by your first name as long as we're in this room together?' A quiver of intense feeling ran through him, but he ignored it, and replied, voice now steady: 'I would appreciate that, I cannot call you Miss Price either whilst you are in my arms.'

'Fanny, how will you go on? Even at Mansfield Park you cannot tell anyone, and you cannot lie in your own room crying your eyes out, people would notice and start asking questions. I cannot stand the idea of you grieving yourself to death, but I cannot see you keeping up appearances on their wedding, and waiting on your aunt all day and being scolded by your horrible other aunt, and living through family visits either.

They will probably invite you to stay with them a few times a year. How will you bear it?'

She was shocked by the picture he painted of her future, but he was right, it could not be borne to live like that.

But staying in Portsmouth and dying of deprivation was not a pretty picture either. A feeling of hopelessness began to creep up on her, and all her grief returned to her manifold.

Henry now did rest his head on her shoulder, and said in a low voice: 'I have a proposition for you, to make your life bearable. I promise that if you agree to it I will not take advantage of your situation.' As she looked up, his face was really close to hers, and despite her intense grief his genuine concern really moved her. Who would have thought that the shameless flirt that she had hated for some time during the theatre-episode would turn out to be such a sweet and caring man? She asked: 'I see no options that aren't excruciatingly painful to me, so please tell me.'