Mansfield Park "The Crawfords' redemption"

Chapter 20

Dawn found them stillentangled, fast asleep, and when the first bustle of the staff allaround the house awoke them, they looked at each other and kissed,that soon leading to other activities. Afterwards, Henry proposed totake a morning ride, to get away from the preparations for thewedding feast, and Fanny heartily agreed. She preferred to meet hercousins only in public, though she would have liked Mary and Edmundto join them, to be able to tell Mary about her first night with herbrother.

But going out alone wasalso very pleasurable, unable to hold hands or touch in any otherway, but still feeling the bond from last night, connecting them eventhough they each rode their own horse. The weather was fine, thehorses were fresh, and there were several secluded spots in reach ofthe house where they could rest the horses and catch up on someintimacy.

When they returned theywere still a bit flushed, but since they had arrived in their usualgallop, no-one would suspect it was something different than theexcitement of the ride. Well, no-one but Mary and Edmund, who had towait another day until they would be able to indulge themselves inthe same way.

Despite the demands ontheir time by visitors, staff and the need to dress for the ceremony,Edmund and Mary both found time to take one of the newly-weds apartfor a few moments to ask about their first night together.

Mary took Fanny to theshrubbery, and conspiritually asked her: 'And, how was he? Did yousee my dear brother totally unleashed?' Something of the memory musthave shown in Fanny's face, for Mary's expression became unreadable,and she said with great feeling: 'I can see it was good, I'm so happyfor you two, and a bit envious too, for I used to be the person Henryloved the most on this world. But I lost that position to you sometime ago already, so I'm used to it now, and you are the only womanI'd trust him to with all my heart.'

Still a bit lost in hermemory of last night, Fanny said: 'Thank you for your kindness, Mary.It was wonderful, he was so tender and sweet at first, and he thoughtof my need before his own, and then when I was ready and asked himto, he let go of his control and Mary, he was wild. Wild with needand passion, and it was all for me. I will never forget it, I hopethat wild creature will always be within him, waiting to be setfree.'

Anyone hearing her talkwould have been scandalized, Fanny realised this, but restraint andpropriety had only ever brought her grief and guilt, and when she hadlet them go, she had decided to keep propriety for public occasions,and a head-to-head with Mary certainly didn't count as such. Shedidn't tell Mary any of the particulars though, that was just tooembarrassing, and besides, the two of them would find out soonenough.

Then Mary had to go tohave her hair done, to be married to the man Fanny had loved bestbefore she fell for Henry, a worthy exchange somehow, especiallysince the two men by now could rightfully have been called bestfriends.

And as such, Edmund hadsought out Henry for a private talk, hoping to get some practicaladvice for the wedding-night, and with Henry still as lost in his ownfirst night as a married man as Fanny was, he came to the rightperson. Henry, very much thrilled at his fearless reception by Fanny,and not overly burdened with propriety towards his friends, managedto describe the particulars quite adequately, embarrassing Edmund alot, of course, but he did want to know. A few pieces of good advicecompleted the whole, and Edmund went back to the house to dress forthe ceremony with a lot more faith in the coming night.

Fanny was a bitdisappointed not to have a few private minutes with Edmund before theceremony, but she had seen his intimate talk with Henry, his colouredcheeks and embarrassed manner, and she knew her dear cousin wouldhave had some good advice on how to proceed with his fair bride. Thevery thought of what they were discussing gave her a distinct blush,and she was sure Edmund would be scandalized, but he would feelbetter having heard it.