Notice Me

6

Have you ever noticed the way that water falls down a hill?

It doesn't just trickle down, each of the beads of moisture finding their own unique path down the hill. So spread out that the entire hill becomes wet.

No, they all find their way together. In a collective stream, they all gather together. When they start to form what could only be described as a lacklustre waterfall, you can the see the way they've carved the dirt out. The water falls, and the hill changes. The ground itself changes shape.

People are just the same.

We all fall down the same, we take the same route. Our actions, they form together. There's a pattern, isn't there?

And the hill, well maybe the dirt that's been carved away will be filled again. Maybe, sometimes... it's forever changed.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" I looked towards Henry, who was pouring himself his fifth shot of the night.

"Why wouldn't I, friend?" Henry replied. His voice coming out in a slur of noises, his eyes not moving from the bottle of brown liquid in his hand.

"I don't know, Hen, maybe because it's only 10:30 and you're already drunk," I muttered to him, checking the time on my phone. We were supposed to go to Holly's at 11, but by the way Henry was already swaying, I wasn't quite sure she would let us in her house, and I wasn't quite sure Henry would make it out of the door in the first place.

"Don't be a party pooper," Henry slurred at me, his lips turning into a smile. A part of me was relieved when I saw his smile, it felt like it had been missing lately. It popped up, every now and then, but it wasn't constant anymore. Not like how it used to be.

"So tell me," Henry continued, twisting the cap back onto the bottle of whiskey. "Who am I supposed to be meeting tonight?"

"Henry, my man, we've been over this," I joked, I shook my head at him, partially annoyed that he was asking me this again, but partially finding it funny that he just didn't seem to care. "Her name is Amber. Her and Holly are friends from... I don't even remember what they're friends from to be honest. Holly said you would like her, though."

"You mean, Holly doesn't want Amber to be a third wheel while you two bang in the bedroom all night?" Henry asked me, raising his eyebrows like he had caught onto my game.

"I mean," I started, laughing at the way he so casually said it, "I could tell you that you're wrong, but do you really want me lying to you?"

"What's another lie?" He slurred out, taking the shot and downing it in a split second. "Lies are lies are lies are lies."

Henry slammed the shot glass back on the counter, the sad expression I had been noticing in his eyes lately making a resurgence.

"Everyone lies," he continued, but I wasn't sure if he was really talking to me anymore. "I lie, you lie, we all lie."

I shook my head, an awkward smile coming to my lips, "what are you on about now?"

"What? Nothing, I'm just saying, Zane. The world was made of lies. It was founded on lies, the lies continue and they never stop. We're on a Merry-Go-Round and the horses are lies, and the only thing we get to choose is which lie we ride."

I was stunned into silence, mostly by the gibberish he was speaking, but also because that gibberish seemed to have meaning behind it. But the problem was, I couldn't make sense of the meaning. I wasn't even sure Henry could.

"You okay, man?" I asked, bring my hand up to clutch his shoulder. "Anything you want to talk about?"

"Is there anything I want to talk about?" Henry repeated my question, and I inwardly sighed when he began to twist the cap off the bottle of booze again.

"Yeah, because you know I'm always here for you," I told him, hoping that my tone was at least comforting enough for him to understand I meant it.

"I know you're here for me, Zane. I know you are." Henry mumbled as he poured himself another shot.

"Okay," I said, inwardly fighting on whether I should cut him off. It's not that I didn't want him to have fun, but this was becoming a pattern of his.

Henry didn't used to drink, in fact, he used to always be our designated driver. But something changed, and it changed only a month or two ago. Not only did he begin drinking, but he began drinking. Heavy drinking, when heavy drinking was not needed. Like when we were playing video games on a Tuesday night.

"What if I told you, Zaney-boy, that I'm sick of the lies?" Henry surprised me by saying. I looked up to his face, and I wasn't sure why I expected him to have his old smile on his mouth. Maybe I was expecting him to laugh it off, and tell me that he was just kidding.

"What if... I told you I'm tired of the lies. I'm tired of all the lies," Henry continued, and he went to pour himself yet another drink. I reached out for the bottle, deciding it was time to cut him off. He only pulled it back, though, tutting out noises from his mouth.

"What lies are you talking about?" I asked him, growing increasingly concerned.

"All of them, Zane. All of them," he told me. When he put the bottle down, I didn't hesitate before snatching it away from him this time.

"You're no fun. What happened to fun Zane? Wait, I forgot, you've never been fun. You're just like the rest of them."

I walked over to the liquor cabinet, and placed the bottle back in its designated place. My parents usually didn't notice the small amounts of alcohol we stole, but Henry had drank enough tonight that they might.

"You're being weird, man," I told him, shaking my head. "What's going on?"

"Nothing is going on, Zane," Henry answered me, before that sorely missed grin formed on his lips again. "I'm just playing, can't you take a joke anymore? Wait... you never could."

Henry started laughing, and against my better judgment, I started laughing too. At least he could bring it back to being happy at the end, even if the path to get there was a little messy.

I grabbed the shot glass from in front of him, turning around and placing it in the sink so I could wash it. My parents might be pretty allowing, but they wouldn't be happy to find evidence of our drinking plastered all over the kitchen. Henry was quiet as I turned the tap on, and I could feel the negative energy oozing from him.

"You know, I know we're guys and we don't really do this kind of stuff, but you know you can always talk to me. If you're having problems at home or with a girl or something. Whatever it is, I'll listen to you man. I'd never judge you. I love you, Henry, you're my best friend," I told him, hoping that he did know he could tell me anything.

Sometimes I wished things were as simple as they were when we were younger, when there wasn't this stigma on us sharing our feelings to each other. It was harder now, now that we were supposed to always be strong, now that we knew we could never cry in public. I missed the days when we just didn't care.

Henry didn't answer, so I turned back around to see what he was doing. I guess his reason for not answering was pretty good, he was passed out on my kitchen counter. His head was resting on his folded arms, small snores were emitting from his nose.

I sighed, pulling out my phone and texting Holly to cancel.

I didn't know what was going on with Henry, but I could only hope that he would snap out of it soon.