Love Bait

47| End of an era

The next few weeks are spent preparing for college. Despite the fact I never thought I'd say this, I'm excited at the prospect of leaving for the mainland. A part of why I'd been so terrified is because of all of the things I'll be leaving behind: my dad, the cafe, the memories of my mother, but now that the cafe is safe from Landon's leeching hands, and Dad seems busier than ever with his company, the only thing tethering me here is Jordan.

It's been almost three weeks since he boarded his plane, and while we've tried our best to keep in touch as much as possible, the last time I heard from him was almost two days ago, a message from him that had read: Can't wait to see you.

And then nothing.

I've convinced myself it doesn't mean anything, that he hasn't suddenly changed his mind, but the more days that pass, the more reality starts to dawn on me.

Maybe he's not coming back.

***

On Sunday morning, I have to say my goodbyes to Lina, which feels like the hardest part of all. She won't just be down the street anymore, she'll be off to New York, which might as well be a whole different world to someone who's never left the island. Still, despite the hollowness in my chest, my face lights up when she stops by before her flight to give me her Lina and Evvy care package.

Inside is a mismatch of face masks and movies and an assortment of snacks. "For our virtual movie marathons," she says as I sort through the box. "We're going to have one every Sunday without fail, or I'll get on a plane back here to hunt you down."

I laugh through the tears and pull her in closer, throwing my arms around her neck. It's times like these that make me realize just how hard it must have been before technology to let someone go.

"I love it," I say, breathing her in, because even though she plans to come back in the winter, I know from experience plans change. "I got you something, too." I reach into my pocket, pulling out a thin, gold necklace with a sun pendant in the center. I don't know much about what the weather is like in New York, but I'm hoping on the stormy days, she'll look down at this pendant and remember where she came from.

"It's beautiful," she says, tearing up, and we spend the next thirty minutes in a solid embrace, neither of us wanting to let go. "I'll message you right up until I get on the plane," she adds, "and then when I land. I'll message you so much that you're going to get sick of me, I promise."

I laugh and say, "I doubt it."

"And Jordan will be here soon, right?"

My heart squeezes the way it does whenever I think about him. The truth is, I'd expected Jordan to already be here by now, especially when I'm going off to college in a few days, but this past week he has been radio silent.

"Yeah," I say, but my voice shakes a little, "he'll be here soon."

A lump makes its way up my throat and settles there. I've been holding it together until now, convincing Lexi and Dad that I'm fine, that I've spoken to Jordan and he'll be here soon, but the truth is, I'm terrified. What if something has happened to him? What if he got to Chicago and my biggest fear came true, that he's realized I'm not worth the move? What if he found someone else?

And even if he does come back, time moves so fast that I'll already be a different girl from the one he fell in love with. While I've since come to accept that change is just a part of life, I wish time would stop until he comes back.

Eventually, when time runs out, I walk Lina over to her car, where her family is patiently waiting to take her to the airport. My footsteps feel heavy, my breathing labored like I'm about to have a heart attack, but even though my heart is shattering, it's the good kind of break – the kind that reminds you you're alive.