Destined

"Sick Truth"

There he stood, motionless like a statue, gazing silently into the nightsky. Underneath his balcony warriors were patrolling around the castle with a watchful eye, never tired to guard their Protos. The city of Gordan was full of dangerous creatures, who could cause a lot of turmoil if not ruled by an iron fist. Their race thought, that you couldn't ensure the peace and safety of all beings without the element of fear. 

The weak feared the strong, but they ALL feared the Protos and his warriors. Gaisgeil was the warrantor of a "no-tolerance" policy. The Lord of Desa wasn't lenient and not at all forgiving. If you broke his rules, you knew for sure the outcome. His strict and cruel attitude was the assurance for freedom and safety in Gordan ... AND whole Desa. 

But lately there were disturbances winding up on the wide lands of Desa. Nobody knew who or what was causing these disturbances - who dared to cause trouble against the Lord of Desa. Many rumours were floating around but nobody really knew something substantial. The cities on the ouskirts of Desa complained about raids and thievery, particularly aimed at the armory of the cities. Somebody snatched up weappons. Not once did they catch the culprits. They were a mystery, like ghosts....which assisted the spreading of the rumours about them.

I was still dumbfounded about Gaisgeil's act towards Blaithin, about his heartless behaviour. Although I should have felt relieved, that he hasn't shown any particular interesst or concern towards her ... or the baby ... I wasn't. Rather the contrary. There was no logical explaination for such an imprudent conduct. I had to find out the cause of his cold indifference.

With a slight cough I wanted to make my presence known. "You don't have to cough for me to know that you are here, Callida", his calm voice responded. "I heard your heartbeat 100 meters away..."

I shook my head, still not fully realizing the full potential of the Creachadair. The best and strongest of them had incredible senses in no way matchable to ours. And Gaisgeil was the best, the Protos, first man of all men. This was one reason, why nobody was able to beat him in a fight. In a hand-to-hand-combat he "knew" intuitively the next action of his opponent, only indicated by the air pressure caused by physical movements. 

Unbelievable for us humans, but ... THEY weren't humans like us. Once upon a time there were only humans and animals on this planet. But something or... someone changed the genetic structure of humans. My people knew that this happened. What we didn't know was, if this change happened articially with a particular purpose or as a natural incident, perhaps some strange mutation. But why weren't we all affected than? Former human beings, back in a far far away past, were all equal, the only difference was the skin colour, structure of hair or shape of eyes. This, we knew.

"Gaisgeil, what happened back there with Blaithin? Why were you so absent and cold? You caused her an immense pain." A low rumble was heard that made my shoulders stiff, ready for a possible blow. In a blink of an eye, Gaisgeil stood directly in front of me, analyzing my face with a wrinkled forehead.

"Why are you so tense? Do you really think, I would harm you?" His accusatory gaze held pain and hurt. I felt bad. Guiltily I lowered my head, hiding my true emotions. His strong hand lifted my chin carefully. 

"Don't you know, why I was so cold?" His quizzical bright eyes were glued to mine, searching. "Don't you?", he pressured for an answer. My eyes widened surprised. What was he implying? Suddenly the tension left his body and he exhaled deeply, stepping back. 

Forcefully he rubbed his head with his right hand. In an sudden motion he turned to me, clearly agitated. "I DON'T WANT HER", Callida", he whisper yelled, "and I DON'T want HER child." He shrugged helplessly. "I can't help it, that's what I feel. I know, I am not a good being, if I refuse my own child, but if this child is the reason, why I may lose you, I don't want it." Shock, that's all I felt. Not even  relief or satisfaction, only shock.

Gaisgeil threw his arms around me, catching me by surprise. "If it means that you turn your back on me and reject me, how can I be happy? How can I want the child of the woman, I only fucked, who was a momentary mistake, a substitution, caused by uncertainty and stupidity?"

I wriggeled out of his arms and he let me have my way. "What are you talking about, Gaisgeil?" He huffed annoyed, mumbling something under his breath. 

"You know...as long as I felt your despair at the Laidir through the bond, that matched mine, I felt, that we were in the same boat: both lonely and unhappy. But than suddenly...I felt your content, your happiness, which made me angry and vengeful."

Clueless I shrugged my shoulders. "What are you trying to explain, Gaisgeil. I have no clue?" The sad look on his face left me breathless. "You were happy, Callida, happy, while I felt miserable. How could you be fine, when I was dying inside, when my soul was crying out for you?", he accused. My eyes widened for a moment but then turned to angry slits.  

He straightened up. "I started to resent you, even to hate you for your indifference towards me. If you felt lonely or sad, there was no indication. I thought, that you forgot me, perhaps in the arms of another man.  I wanted to make you hurt like I hurt." My head started shaking in denial on its own. 

"Are you trying to tell me, that you wanted to punish me in some sick way by sleeping with Blaithin?" I watched how his shoulders sagged in guilt.