Something Inside (Published)

Chapter 28...

The rest of Saturday and Sunday passed in kind of a blur. I was inside my own bubble not really seeing or hearing anything. When I had gotten home from Ashton's my entire outfit and body was soaking wet, so the first thing I did was hop in the shower. Actually all I did in there was let the water run down me and stare at the wall. I was still trying to wrap everything that has happened around my head. When Sunday rolled around I was still as confused as I was the day before but slightly more coherent. 

Every time anything that involved Ashton I seemed to get clobbered, and I was tired of getting clobbered. He pushes me away and I somehow come right back, he's sweet to me and I fall even more, now when I'm ready to confess my feelings to him he's with someone else. I was fed up with this feeling. When I was younger I was so desperate to feel loved that I welcomed the notion of getting my heartbroken because if it was broken than that means I had something real and good. But now I realize how stupid I was, I am tired of getting my heart broken. What I really need right now is to be by myself. I need to figure out what I want and in order to do that I need time alone. 

It seems like right when my life was at an okay point; I was fine with my job, my life, and my friends, something had to go and ruin it. I hadn't known it but the moment I ran into Ashton at that bar my life has turned a 180. My heart fell for someone again when I didn't think I could, I quit my awful job and are now working at a million dollar company making good pay, I've met new people in my life that I'm coming to love as my best friends, and most of all i've come to realize what I need in my life. 

I am finally coming out of the shell I had built all around me when I was with my parents. I was putting myself in risk and finally being carefree. I am tired of my parents holding me back, and me feeling like I am still with them. It has been 4 1/2 years and I haven't heard from them not even once. I could be dead for all they know and they don't care. I've always felt their presence lurking over me all my life and dictating my life. I am not that little innocent 13 year old who lets her parents beat her anymore. I am 23 almost 24 with a new life I am building. I am not skittish anymore and I am not afraid. It is time for me to live my life the way I want to, no more letting people do it for me or listening to my parents voice in the back of my mind. 

That doesn't mean I am going to party every night, hook up with random guys, or even quit my job. I'm just going to be alone for a while, hang out with my friends, and get my priorities straight. I had just committed to my plan when Kacey and Neena suddenly burst through the front door their faces red like they had ran here. I raised an eyebrow at them from the couch. 

"You guys okay?" I asked.

"L-Layla." Kacey sputtered out. She held her hand out towards me and in it was a magazine. Neena did the same but with a newspaper.

"Doing some light reading I see." I commented standing up. They both glared at me finally catching their breath. 

"You are on the cover!" Neena yelled out coming towards me. 

"Wait what?" Kacey and Neena surrounded me holding out their magazine and newspaper to me. I looked down and gasped loudly. They were right, on the front page of the New York Times and the New Yorker magazine. "What the hell!" I ripped the newspaper out of Neena's hand and read the little article. 

I stood there wide eyed after reading it. Someone had taken Alex's and I's photo when we were on our date, and now it was spread across every newspaper stand in New York. Great just great. Now another thing I have to worry about. 

"So you went on the date with Alex I see." Neena said sarcastically. I held back a glare that I wanted to send her. Now was not the time. 

"How did this happen?" Kacey asked pulling the paper from my tight grip. The edges were bent from how I had gripped it.