Best Served Fake

twenty-three // only one bed

"You are beautiful, beautiful souls, and if I puke all over you, I need you to know that I do it with love."

"Thanks, James," Kai said, wryly. But he noticeably ensured that his shoes were not in Jamie's splash zone.

The streets of Toorak were silent, gated mansions standing tall and watchful over tree-lined footpaths. Cold night air bit into my exposed skin, and I was thankful for the jacket Kai had lent to me and the heat of Jameson's body as I shivered with the breeze. Jameson's arms were slung around our shoulders; his left over mine, and his right over Kai's. It left him dangling at a decided angle, despite Kai's efforts to stoop to my height. It didn't matter too much; Jameson seemed to have limited control over his feet anyway, and with his staggering, he wouldn't have made it out of Rebecca's house, let alone home, without us.

He only lived two blocks away—both Rebecca and Jameson lived in mega-mansions—but with his fragmented thoughts, a night sleeping on Rebecca's front lawn was more probable than him actually arriving home.

It didn't surprise me that Jameson lived in one of the most affluent suburbs in Melbourne. Most of the kids who went to our school were wealthy, but Jamie carried himself with the kind of self-assuredness reserved for the uber-wealthy. It was evident, in the same way that it was evident that Kai and Isabelle were scholarship kids. Something about the set of the shoulders, the ease of his languid steps, the relaxed, carefree edge of Jamie's smile, it all screamed hey, I have a lot of money and I quite like it.

"You don't have to take me home," Jamie insisted; his eyes were half-closed and dazed.

"Ah, and in this prospective future, are we exempt from being charged with accessory to manslaughter? Or reckless endangerment?" I asked him, stumbling slightly under his weight. "Because if so, I'll gladly leave you. You can enjoy a lovely bed of grass and dirt. Alas, I don't think prison orange is my colour, so I simply must do my civic duty. This is a totally selfish action."

Jamie blinked. "You say... so many words. And I do not know what they all mean, right now. Two syllables maximum, please."

"You just wouldn't expect it, would you?" Kai asked.

Jamie didn't answer; he seemed to be far more focussed on breathing the cool air, and resisting the impulse to puke.

"Is he going to be... okay?" I asked tentatively. I'd dealt with drunk teenagers before; Sydney scarfed vodka like it was water, and Tommy was occasionally prone to overindulging. Jamie was talking, which was a good sign, I supposed, but the worried glimmer in Kai's eyes stirred my gut uncomfortably.

"He'll be fine," Kai said, smiling at me over Jamie's shoulder. But then Jameson's head lolled slightly, and Kai's smile vanished. "But... I should probably stay with him. I'll run you home, but I'll come back to make sure he's okay."

Mother hen, Sebastian had called him before. It really did seem like Kai was the kind of guy who looked after his friends. The kind of guy who stepped up. Bad boy with a heart of gold, Sydney called him. I was starting to think she was right.

I thought about the quiet house I'd tripped in front of; the peeling paint and silent halls. The way that Isabelle and Jamie and Seb and Will turned toward him when they needed something. Kai had enough people to look after.

"You don't have to drop me home," I said. "I'm sure there's a train or a bus or something. It's a Friday night, so they'll be running."

I couldn't see Kai's face, obscured by the shock of Jameson's auburn hair, but his tone brooked no arguments. "You're not catching public transport."

"Valerie," Jamie called into the air. I tapped his shoulder, alerting him to the fact that I was currently half-carrying him, and he turned his head slowly toward me. I prayed he didn't puke. This close to him, I could see the smooth skin of his nose peppered with the tiniest, faintest brown freckles, the delicate sweep of his eyelashes. Even unfocussed, his eyes were a bright and piercing blue. "Don't go home. Kai will be mad at me, but you won't be mad. Stay at my place with Kai."