Valerie: i really like your friends
Valerie: and why are they all hot? was that an entry requirement?
Kai: yep. we advertised around kindergarten. looking for local hotties; pls meet in the sandpit during finger painting for further information
Valerie: oh, so why did they let you in?
Kai: har har
Kai: founders rights. kind of like sex appeal nepotism
Valerie: that makes so much sense
Kai: well, the average hotness of the group exponentially increased today
Valerie: you never stop
Kai: always got to practise my craft
Kai: and i'm a one-woman man now, so you're on the receiving end of it all
Valerie: i have to put up with all this and i don't even get to see an ab?
Valerie: this feels like unpaid labour
Kai: i think paying you in thirst traps may be a crime
Valerie: sigh.
Kai: how about i let you poke them
Valerie: :)
Kai: you are utterly shameless
Valerie: it's called COMEDY
Kai: so you're only joking, then?
Valerie: mostly
Valerie: i'd also very happily poke an ab tho
Valerie: pls don't take that away from me
Valerie: i actually think it's very significant for the ruse. what if someone asks me to describe exactly what the experience of poking you abs is like, and i don't have any explanation? it puts everything at jeopardy
Kai: you are ridiculous
Kai: but that also made me laugh, so fine
Kai: speaking of our ruse. rebecca is throwing a party this weekend
Valerie: i know. I'm not exactly friends with Rebecca and Jack anymore, tho. they were always more tommy's friends than mine.
Kai: yeah, well, bex is the only one of tommy's friends that i'm actually friend with
Valerie: didn't you guys used to make out in the band room in year 7?
Kai: that is not relevant at this time
Kai: anyway, i've been invited, and so has everyone else. even iz is going. wanna go together?
Valerie: for the ruse?
Kai: i mean, that's why we'll go TOGETHER. and i'll probably cop a very obvious feel in front of your ex-boyfriend to make it seem legit, and for no other reason whatsoever.
Kai: but i also just want you to come, okay?
Valerie: okay
Valerie: but if you're copping a feel, i hope you know that i'm going to very obviously fondle your ass in front of ALL your friends
Kai: that wouldn't embarrass me. i have a great ass, and they all know it
Kai: and since when was getting felt up by a pretty girl embarrassing?
Valerie: you really do NEVER stop
Kai: not even for a second
YOU ARE READING
Best Served Fake
Teen Fiction"Little Valerie," said Kai, bending closer to me. "Are you blackmailing me into dating you?" He didn't seem particularly disturbed by the notion. In fact, he remained completely amused. "Yes?" Kai grinned. "Very mafia of you. I'm weirdly kind of int...
