BROKEN

Forty Six

"I don't understand your actions lotus, do you enjoy toying with people's feelings or just mine? I tried staying away from you honestly cause I knew how much you were grieving the death of your parents but you had no right to lash out on me the way you did. No right at all. All I wanted to do was comfort you but you ended pushing me away. I truly did understand how you felt, only one who had been in your shoes could truly understand the card you were dealt with. I wanted to be there for you the way no one had been for me, so why did you say those awful things" he cocked his head to the side and his eyes bored into mine

"I wanted someone to pour my frustration on, no one had cared for me like you did...."
"Because you won't let them, you intentionally cocoon yourself in an a titanium steel cage. Just cause others hurt you  doesn't mean the rest of humanity will."
I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood, I was an idiot. this conversation I was having with Ivan was long overdue, if I had calmly spoken to him three years ago things would have been different.
"Stop it" he pulled my bottom lip from the hold of my teeth.
"You speak as though you have been burnt so much by people." I said, I felt like he had gone through what I had maybe even more
"I have, but I choose to not let it affect me."
"If you truly knew how I felt why didn't you come back." I looked at him, with emotions swirling in my eyes. He raised his head and looked at the black night sky illuminated by the soft twinkling of the stars.

"I had my reasons for not reaching out"
"Which are?"
"One, you need space, two, i was sure if I was with you I'd baby you a lot and it wouldn't let you realise the intensity of your actions, three, I needed you to realise if truly what you felt for me was real or just a means to an end. And four I have a gigantic ego, I am a proud man" he casually shrugged at his statement.
I couldn't help but let out a small laugh at his bluntly spoken words.
"So, you have a gigantic ego"
"I won't lie, I do. I wanted you to realise how much I meant to you even if It meant I'd suffer the consequences and honestly I guess I was a little scared if I'd show up in your life again out of nowhere"
"What if I had moved on with another person."
He sucked In a breath "you wouldn't be able to, I know the effect I have on you"

"Wow do you have a large ego" I said rolling my eyes
"I know, but you won't. The thing is lotus, there are things in this world that are phenomenally unexplained just like human emotions, sometimes you just know when things are right when things fit and when things don't. You and I match, we fit like two peas in a pod, we have and inexplicable connection. Like a circle we always would end up meeting. No matter who you try to give yourself to you'd always compare him to me."

My mouth was agape not only was he arrogantly speaking but he was painfully right, I had tried moving on with other people but I compares them to him.
"Aren't you proud "
"It's called being self aware lotus ' I narrowed my eyes on him
"Potatoe Potato. What's the difference " he laughed softly
"How you choose to pronounce it is the difference lotus "
"Why did you choose to help me."
"Because I saw a broken person, a shell of what you used to be, and somehow I knew everyone saw that they just chose to ignore you ,they chose to ignore the siren call one you head."
"Are you always this blunt "
"Yes." I couldn't help but burst into laughter
"I knew if I didn't help, I'm sure I'd have found you dead in a ditch somehow, I knew how much you thought life sucked but now that you're finally moving on, living life you're finding out life is not all that suckish."
"I guess so." I paused and looked at the sky, the moon was finally poking its creamy white head out
"I'd like to.."
"Will you .." we spoke at the same time although it was cliche it was nice
"You go first lotus"
"No you go first."
"As much as I would love to go on with this banter, it's late and we have much to discuss and I also have to deal with suck up critics in the gallery who understand nothing about art but choose to kiss ass due to my name so lotus, ladies first."

I know it shouldn't shock me, but Ivan was straight forward blunt as a knife.
"Well I never considered you a gentleman Ivan "
"Why because of my eccentric good looks and daring style or my carefully crafted blunt words."
"I've seen better " I wanted to hurt his large ego a bit.
" Sure you have" his voice was flat and laced with sarcasm
"Comeon lotus, we don't have all day and you need to sleep"
" I'm not a child that has a nap time vikor" I huffed and crossed my hands
He tilted his head, and his eyes danced with amusement.
His eyes raked my figure " that highly debatable"
His words were supposed to make me angry but all it did was make me laugh.
"Okay, I wanted to ask if you've finally forgiven me"
His eyes softened " I have" I couldn't contain my happiness and I leapt over to hug him, he put me on the table, we were close to each other facing one another, I could feel the heat radiating from him.
In an attempt to distract myself from his spread out figure I asked what he wanted to say
"I'd like to paint you one day, make you my muse once again." His eyes was smoldering
"Uhmmm, sure."
"Good I'll see you in two days."
"Two days?"
"Yeah, I have to leave town for a while because my accountants are doing a shit job of keeping records."
I smiled at him, my phone buzzed beside me and it was Malvolio texting to see how everything was going
"Would you have fought for Me if I moved on"
"No, I wouldn't have, if truly he's making you truly happy I wouldn't ever ruin it your happiness matters to me."
I nodded, I felt emotions overwhelm me. His phone buzzed
"For God's sake Claudia what." He said when he answered the call.
I heard Claudia scolding on the phone, he just simply put the phone on table, letting her rant while he was playing with my fingers.
"I'll be out In a minute." He said when she finished her scolding
"That's mean " I said when he ended the call
"She talks a lot and also my eardrums could only handle so many cuss words"
"But you say them too "
"I thought you didn't like my cousin" my face flushed in embarrassment
"I thought you were going to be out in a minute." I fired back
"Touché "
He stood up and helped Me down the table as well.
"Ughhh." I heard him groan behind me
"I have to deal with people again."
"Well you have to, even though you're a loner"
"I'm pretty sure I'm not a Loner lotus, handsome yes but loner no" I narrowed my eyes for the nth time today
"That's highly debatable " he laughed before locking his hands with mine and walking away from the balcony

Things are finally looking up for us.

A/N ........ the end
I'm kidding. Well this book is coming to an end, just four or five chapters left😭😭💔. But there will be a sequel to it 😇
Honestly I'm terrible with Authors notes , why do I even do it 😪
Anyways please read, Vote and comment
Have a nice day 😊 💛