Control

thirteen

I grab the notebook and stationary on my desk, packing them away into drawers before switching off my computer, done for the day at work.

I adjust the cross-body bag around me, ensuring my keys and wallet are inside before pushing my chair into my desk and stepping towards the office door, ready to leave.

A tall, beautiful woman interrupts me.

"Rory, I'm glad I caught you!" Margot greets, her eyes smiling with excitement.

I crane my neck to meet her gaze, my heeled boots insufficient in matching Margot's height.

"Of course, how can I help?"

Margot's lips lift at the sides warmly at my response, adjusting the iPad in her hands.

"It was in regards to the Soccer Banquet," she states, prompting me to nod.

"Yes, so I've just finalised everything with the caterer, photographer and decorator. Everything should run smoothly and we've still got a bit of space left in the budget if need be. I also added that extra time in the schedule that the coach wanted for awards."

Margot's smile grows fonder at my words.

"Thank you Rory, you've done an excellent job," she tells me, the compliment sending the usual gratitude through me. "In fact, you've done such an excellent job that I would like you to attend the banquet as the main manager. I won't be in attendance since you'll be in charge."

The words take longer than usual to process, getting stuck in the cogs of my brain since they are unexpected and both entirely terrifying and exciting simultaneously.

"I - uh, me?" I stutter, flabbergasted at the request.

Margot's lips pull into a large grin, her white teeth standing out against her dark skin.

"Yes, Rory, you. No one is better suited for this event."

No words could describe my gratitude for this woman.

"Margot, thank you so much for this opportunity. Seriously, I won't let you down," I say, hoping that she can hear my utter appreciation.

The hand she places on my shoulder is one that a mother would place, proud of her child.

"You're welcome Rory. And I know you won't," she says, squeezing my shoulder for good measure before she bids me a good night and leaves, leaving me standing in pure elation.

I almost squeal in excitement, walking the trek towards my car in its side street with a skip in my step.

The time it takes to open and close my car door seven times almost seems shorter, the traffic appearing less as I drive to Dove's to buy a smoothie on my way home.

I'm so glad I skipped the soup today. Now the smoothie feels like a reward.

When I reach Dove's, it seems quieter than usual so my smoothie will be prepared faster.

Margot's superpowers, I think with a small chuckle as I wait for my berry smoothie after ordering it at the counter.

You left your keys at work.

The sudden thought is jarring, sending a rush of worry throughout me. Except I drove here, so I must have my keys.

You left it in your car.

The thought is just as worrying, because I need my keys to unlock the car. But to lock the car, I would have needed my keys anyway, so it's fine either way.

Check.

Logically, I don't need to.

Which means I shouldn't because there's no reason that I need to check, no reason that I have this urge.

I would know if I had an anxiety disorder. I don't have one and realistically, everyone probably experiences symptoms of anxiety.

It's fine, I don't need to check.

Check.

I open the zip of my bag, checking for my keys, which are inevitably in the position that I left them, safe and sound.

The number that Louise gave me glares a hole through my phone, her offer to write a referral sounding a chant in my head.

Before I can dwell on the chant, the sound of the door opening interrupts my thoughts, a draft seeping into the cafe along with a boy that I haven't seen in almost two weeks.

When I do see him, before he notices me, it's like it's for the first time.

I forgot how he looked.

That tan complexion - despite the cooler temperatures - which makes his green eyes pop, brown hair floppy on his head. I forgot how tall he is, his lean athlete's frame making him appear even taller.

When those gorgeous green eyes meet mine, the draft that has wandered in stills, the air around us standing still in awkward silence, neither of us breaking our stare as we calculate this new dynamic, an atmosphere that holds foreign tension.

He is the one to break the stare when the girl at the counter asks for his order.

He orders a coffee.

Caffeine at 5pm? Must need the energy.

When he finishes ordering, he stands in the same spot awkwardly, clearly unaware of whether he should walk to where I'm waiting for my smoothie.

I bite the bullet.

"Levi?" I question, my voice booming in this small cafe with barely any customers, the sound startling Levi.

He turns to me, smiling awkwardly. It's only small but it's enough for me to approach where he stands.

"Hi," I say.

It doesn't cut the tension enveloping us but it prompts Levi to meet my gaze, those green eyes so much brighter than I remember.

"Hi Rory," he greets, the words so formal.

"How are you?" I ask, almost cringing at our small talk, wishing things could go back to normal because I used to be so comfortable with Levi. Suddenly, I regret ever calling his name.

"I'm good," Levi answers.

The tension lingers in the air like a snake wrapping around the neck of our relationship which used to be so special, a relationship that could have been so much more.

Will we ever get to that again?

My eyes travel to my boots at the thought. This interaction makes me doubtful.

The sound of Levi's voice surprises me.

"The soccer season is over soon so that'll ease some strain. I'll have more time to focus on school and stuff," he says, elaborating for the sake of this awkward tension.

I glance up, meeting his watching gaze. I smile, grateful at his persistence.

"That's great Levi. I actually just found out that I'll be managing the banquet next week, so I'll make sure it's a nice way to end the season for the team."

I don't know why I say it, I don't know why I make it about me with a stupid little joke, but if I could see the smile that Levi gives me every day, the one which shows me those dimples and makes me miss him so much, I would say those words over and over again.

"That's amazing Rory, you deserve it. I'll see you there then," he says, the pride radiating from him a true testament to his character.

Even after everything we said to each other, me escalating the situation and referencing a piece of his past which he shared with me in trust, he is happy for me.

I don't want this conversation to end, but before I can prolong the dissipating tension, my name is called, my smoothie is ready and I leave, bidding a quiet goodbye to Levi before I walk out of the cafe and towards where my car is parked in its side street, opening and closing the door seven times before I drive off.