Ephemeris

19 : Fag Ends of Hope

Now that the pain in the poor boy's face looked a tad unperturbed, Daniel decided to stay inside his bedroom, for it was the only thing he could do to forget yesterday's loss. But like a trapped man inside a cave floundering around to find his way out, his mind became badly muddled as he slid along the four walls of his room, round and round, recalling the details of the unfortunate incident. It's awful to lose a friend when you don't have many, he thought. His sunken eyes sank more because of his dizzying activity. Beads of sweat slipped from his forehead and then were caught by his knitted brows, distraught by the dubious fate of everyone trying to seek happiness for the end of the world.

Drabness poured over him, thinking that perhaps Abraham would disappear too. The gathering of sweat on his brows slid off, running like tears on his cheeks. Then, he heard the blustering coughs of the old man piercing through his shut windows.

Abraham was coughing all night, and it was getting worse. It reminded the little boy that the old man was fighting for his life. To live not just for himself but also for others, to look after him. He couldn't come up with the thought of the selfless elderly not hearing his beautiful narratives.

However, in the back of his upside-down thoughts, he knew the day would come when Abraham would join his grandson. His chapped lips wore away more, pondering this remote imagination. He crossed his fingers and tipped his head back, facing the ceiling and casting some kind of enchantment to save the old man, to save him. Be by myself again? It will never happen. I'll make sure of that, he thought. He continued with his ritual of pronouncing his concocted hymns.

Abraham cracked another blustering cough, disturbing the boy's concentration. Engrossed in his oddity, he seemed strangely dumb but indomitable, levitating over the mattress and casting his illusory powers. His odd way amazingly made the room brighter, driving away all the melancholy nonsense stuck inside it.

The first light shone on the horizon, gorging the crumbling splendor of the cliff. Abraham stopped coughing as if the series of the kid's ludicrous verses charmed the sun to rise and restore the old man's health. It was like a miracle but just lasted for a moment because he heard another whooping cough emerging from the outside. What was I thinking? Would my words heal someone? A stupid boy, you are, he thought.

Daniel then asked himself a couple of times about the things that might transpire sooner or later but then gave up because his response was a little disconcerting whenever he did. He covered his mouth with his palm and breathed deeply. His facial expression was as if he had changed instantly from a hopeful little boy to someone who ran to a safe room, locked the door, and completely shut the windows. The aches seized his remaining vigor hastily.

It became clear that in addition to believing in some kind of magic and miracle, he had seen the truth, an unpleasant revelation that he couldn't do anything, that he was only a human. There was nothing almighty that could save them. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to feel that there was hope left for humanity.

Nevertheless, there was a tiny cinder inside his chest, still spewing out a glow illuminating the bleakness the way it illuminated his heart to endure. He visualized his mom through the wallpapered wall, facing the embroidered curtains again, climbing her calvary ever since the babe's death, craving to see a glimmer of hope to help her cope with her grief. "Perhaps, I need to take in some fresh air," he whispered, grabbing the leather jacket and aviator hat pinned on the ceiling. He slothfully wore them. "Just do, Daniel, what might help you to forget. Perhaps, distractions are on the way," he convinced himself.

Daniel pushed the door and glided through the corridor bathed in diffused yellowish light. Suddenly, the mellow illumination dimmed while he made himself out of the long hallway. He didn't mind it at first. However, the fluctuation of the light, bright then dark, sunny then shadowy, annoyed him. He gave it a look to see if he could tell what was wrong behind the secured window.