Blood Lily Company - Afghanistan - Year 2

II

After lunch, we went back to maintenance work. We weren't often all together at base, so we took advantage of that rare occurrence. We also cleaned our rooms from top to bottom. At some point, Erk stopped and went to splash water on his head. He had a pinched look.

- Erk, are you alright? I asked.
- Bof. A small headache, but that should pass.
- If you say so. But, tell me, how do you deal with headaches, with your allergies? Well, you, especially?
- If I say willow bark tea...
- Oh shit.
- Yeah... Tiger balm in massages helps a little. But, otherwise, same as in the Middle Ages...
- That's tough, man... You don't look too peachy, by the way, you're quite pale...
- Could be because I'm hungry. I'll go see Doc after dinner.
- Why not Alex? He's on watch tonight, I believe.
- Curious cat... No, it's Doc. Besides, even if it were Alex, I would have gone to Doc. Alex isn't trained yet to our... specificities.
- Ah. And what is your reaction to ibuprofene? After morphine, I expect just about anything.
- I start dancing salsa, he deadpanned.
- Are you kidding me? Sals... You little shit, I said, shaking my head, not really offended that I fell for it. But, seriously? So I don't give you some.
- I puke. Same as morphine.
- Oh? And on the fifth ibuprofen, same reaction too? I smirked.
- You wanna know, huh?
- What do you think?
- Sadly, nothing as fun. I just vomit.
- Shit, that's really not nice. Maybe you should get some rest, don't you think? We should be able to finish without you, you know.
- Hmm, I think you're right.

I watched him go to his room, massaging the bridge of his nose with two fingers. He was in more pain than he wanted me to believe. It bothered me to see our big strong guy like that. It usually took more to get him that flat.

We finished our work and went to dinner. Erk looked a little better. I noticed that Tito was standing as far away from the Viking as possible, but he had positioned himself to watch Bear without seeming to pay more attention to him than that. Well, well, dare I hope the Swede is of enough interest to the Albanian for my little friend to stay? Damn it, I hoped with all my soul.

After dinner, as we were all tired by the unrelenting sun, the light and the big work we had done, we all went to bed quickly.

I curled up in Lin's arms, to whom I had been sending heated looks all afternoon, between two brotherly exchanges. The brothers were in good shape but I was more interested in the beautiful blonde – well, her hair is white, not blond, eh, but... – whom I had made eyes to than by the brothers' bickering.

I'm a little ashamed of myself, but that night, I snapped. I don't think it should be any of your business, but Lin later advised me to write down my feelings, my emotions, so they wouldn't overwhelm me. I'm not very good at that. I'll try to think about it. And I wanted to stay factual...

Let's just say our hesitation-waltz with death took a while to catch up with me. That night, while everything was quiet, I was in Lin's arms and we were exchanging almost shy caresses, preludes to more interesting ones, when I began to tremble. I couldn't stop, I was shivering like I had a fever, my teeth were chattering.

- Tugdual, what's the matter?

Hearing my name helped, but it wasn't enough... Through a strange association of ideas, our caresses reminded me of Tito's confession, and from one thought to another, all the trials of this patrol came back to me full tilt. From the Turban who nearly killed Kris to the wild charge towards the Pashtuns, armed with my knives and the courage that the Viking had rekindled by throwing himself into the fray.

On the black screen of my eyelids paraded all the worst scenarii my overheated mind could invent. I imagined, in spite of my desire to get out of this vicious circle, I imagined Tito in the hands of the executioner, Kitty... I have to write down my emotions, but this, this I can't.